


Hogwarts: Your History

by Iblametumblrformyproblems



Category: British Actor RPF, Harry Potter - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Auror Training, Bullying, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hogwarts, Post Harry Potter, Professor Hiddleston - Freeform, Quidditch, Slytherin, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8782036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iblametumblrformyproblems/pseuds/Iblametumblrformyproblems
Summary: In an odd and kinky mix of Professor Hiddleston and Harry Potter, this is a story sure to interest. The cursed job has been given to the young Thomas Hiddleston and as you are in your last year at Hogwarts, you are getting special tutoring from him before you become an official Auror at the Ministry of Magic. Will you survive the year with such an odd and wonderful man? Or will the job once again be open as the next year rolls around?





	1. Day 1: Disaster in heart land

Imagine your worst headache ever. Multiply that times like 246,000. That’s about how you felt on your last first day of school.

You had been just a tiny 2nd year when the battle of Hogwarts happened. You were one of the survivors, the brave who live on to tell the stories. But 5 years later, the school was at full capacity with the famous legends of Harry Potter and his defeat of Voldemort. No one cared to filter any more with “you know who”. He was just another far off legend  and it was truly ridiculous how quickly people forgot.

But you couldn’t. The voice that spoke to every student still rung through your head and haunted your dreams at night. Not to mention the pale faces of every single dead student. Students you looked up to, that tutored you and were there when you were so confused and overwhelmed. Your slytherin family; the people who had taught you that being a slytherin had nothing to do with being evil or being someone like Draco Malfoy, fell silently next to Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs. They stayed behind, despite having no love for glory and bravery. They stayed behind because the school they loved was in danger and that’s who they were in the end.

Now, Hogwarts was relatively safe. Professor McGonagall took over the headmistress position and the whole school was run like a clock: without a single hitch. Dumbledore was definitely eccentric in the way he ran things, putting students in danger rather regularly and setting groups against each other. It always created an atmosphere that made it difficult to learn. Under McGonagall’s thumb, the school flourished and Hogwarts became one of the most well known schools for a perfect education for magic.

Now you were well on your way to being an Auror in the new Ministry of Magic. Right along with the famous Harry Potter, saving the magic world from all the sorts of things that almost destroyed everything you loved 5 years before. And despite your quiet demeanor and soft spoken personality, you were one of the best witches in your class.

No thanks to the constantly changing Dark Arts Professors. The one thing that hadn’t been fixed was the curse. Every year there was a new professor, with new wisdom and new ways of teaching. It kept you on your toes at least. The benefit is every student got to learn a lot of different things about evil from the many brilliant (sometimes less than amazing) professors that spent the year at Hogwarts. The not-so-great side is the constant never knowing what to expect.

And this year was no exception. You walked into the Great Hall with anticipation, hoping for a Professor that would help you grow to new heights before you left Hogwarts for good. All the first years were looking around in awe, but the magic was lost on you now. Hogwarts was your home, but for a place to be home, you get used to it. Even so, it was always heart-warming to see the first years react in a way you wished you still could.

McGonagall kept up the tradition of putting everyone through the boring and excessively long talk before the feast begins and needless to say, you weren’t paying attention. You looked over at your friend, Lizzie, with a knowing smile. She winked back and rolled her eyes, displaying the same boredom you felt.

“And I would like everyone to give a warm welcome to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Thomas Hiddleston”, McGonagall finished with a warm clap that soon the entire student body joined along in. A tall figure walked in through the side door, greeting the school warmly.

Your breath left your lungs in an instant as you took him in. He was the youngest professor that you knew of and there was something about him, something mysterious and wonderful all at once. He was dressed in bright blue robes that accented his beautifully golden features and his eyes felt like they pierced straight through your soul. All thoughts of food or boredom disappeared instantly as you saw him. He was almost angelic; the candlelight glinted off his features in the most impossible and glowing way. 

The room had long since stopped their clapping as you couldn’t help but stare at him. The noise erupting around you as all students began to partake in the feast, but it was all background noise. He talked and joked along with the other teachers warmly, but he caught your gaze, just for a minute. He took in your open stare and smiled softly. It felt like the whole world had paused as he looked at you. Your heartbeat skyrocketed and your body flushed with a fierce heat. It was like someone had given you a Weasley Fever Fudge. 

It may have just been for a few second but it felt like a lifetime. You felt someone shake you out of it, Lizzie probably, and you were the first one to break the stare. By the time you looked back, he was animatedly talking with Hagrid. Hagrid looked nearly as thrilled to talk to him as you might have felt sitting next to him. You wondered what kind of things he took interest in with the game keeper, what stories he'd be telling. Probably some adventure or another. Maybe he was asking questions about the school itself, or about the care for magical creatures class. Whatever the conversation was about, you knew in that single second, you'd give anything to be part of it, just to have all of his attention on you for a single moment. 

Needless to say, this would be an interesting year for you.


	2. Meeting the Professor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolute craziness basically. A lot of this information based off the reader is things I got from taking Pottermore quizzes and I learned about myself, from the wand, to the Patronus. Sorry if it's not something I can do on individual base. All these things are different based off your personality.  
> I'd love to get any feedback from people if you all don't mind. It's so hard to write without feedback or interest. Hope you guys like where I'm going with this

 

Excitement coursed its way through your body as you hurried to your first Defense against the dark arts class. You didn’t know what to expect. Truthfully, you were hoping for just more time to stare at Professor Hiddleston, who had ruined your morning by not coming to breakfast. You weren’t the type to usually fall for unattainable men or fantasize about the impossible. Yet Something about the professor took your breath away and captured all your thoughts.

Finally you arrived to a nearly empty room, stopping you straight in your tracks. There were very few other students waiting in spotted areas, from all different houses. Apparently, not many students were interested in Auror work after school.

You walked in with your head down, hurrying to a front seat. Hands shaking nervously, you attempted to ignore everyone else and prepare your materials for class. Your beautiful Ebony wand laid on the desk next to blank parchment, calling to your mind like a familiar memory. Forged by wand makers in East Africa, it was completely unique and powerful with the mixture of Ebony and a phoenix feather. It spoke to your mind and soul like an old friend.

“Hello!” A cheery voice interrupted your reverie.

You looked up to see a 7th year Hufflepuff you’d seen around, but never really got around to talking to. He had warm golden eyes that smiled down at you jovially. Try as you might, you couldn’t recall his name.

“Um, hi”, you answered, before writing the date in the top corner of your parchment. Instead of backing away at your cold greeting, he was entirely unfazed. He seemed determined to have a conversation, much to your disdain. “Can I help you with something?”

“I just realized we’ve been going to school together for seven years and we’ve never talked!” He smiled even wider, if that was possible. He propped himself up on the edge of your desk and looked down at you. There was something about his face that was kind and inviting, something altogether pleasant, although you would never truly admit that. In the moment, however, it definitely bordered on annoying.

“Yeah, it might have something to do with being in different houses. Hufflepuffs and Slytherins don’t really mix”, you snipped. What you would give for a book to flip open just to make him leave you alone.

He wasn’t even remotely affected by your attitude. “From what I’ve heard, you don’t really follow the norms here at Hogwarts. Why keep up with this one trend?”

You sighed and leaned back, studying this annoyance fully. “Perhaps it isn’t to my betterment to rebel against this one”, you argued.

“Well, if you ever decide to change your mind, we will probably be working together one day as one of the few students who still want to fight evil”, He concluded, completely unfazed in his happiness. He actually looked like he was willing to go fight a dragon with a toothpick and would be thrilled that he got a toothpick to start with. Without another word, he walked to his previous seat and slinked into the seat.

You shook your head with a small smile. It was an odd experience but it made you smile nonetheless. Some people described you as being unapproachable but leave it to a Hufflepuff to approach a scary Slytherin.

Suddenly, the door to Professor Hiddleston’s door opened, and out walked the professor himself. Your heart stopped instantly. Fear and adrenaline rushed through your body as if it was your first crush all over again and it was so vulnerable, so terrifyingly new.

“Hello, class! Welcome to your first day in your advanced Defense against the dark arts class”, he introduced. “My name is Professor Thomas Hiddleston and I will be your teacher this year”. His voice made your whole body shudder in response. It was like caramel and cream mixed together in pure bliss. You tried to focus on your breathing as you felt every nerve in your body light up like a Christmas tree.

“Now, as you are all here to prepare for life after school, these classes are going to be a little different. As there are only..” he paused to count. “... 8 of you, I would like to take time and teach you all individually. Every day I will meet with a separate student. This will be personal prep for your future jobs fighting everything evil we have to face in this world. You didn’t have to take this class to continue on, but you decided you want to better yourselves”, he looked around, catching everyone’s eyes. “You are here because you wish to learn something more from me. I will certainly endeavour to teach you everything I can. Now on Mondays, I will be meeting with Deanne Trolley and (Y/F/N)(Y/L/N).  For everyone else, I would like you to go to the library and study any topic you would like to learn about. I will be posting the weekly schedule on the door outside of my classroom, so be sure to know when your specific time is and bring what you have prepared for me”. He nodded towards Deanne, a blonde, Gryffindor student known for her shrewd intelligence and bravery

The room began to move around you, but you were still sitting there, dreading this new turn of events. Not only did you have to listen to this man’s amazing voice for an hour, but you also had to be alone with him. You weren’t sure how you were going to survive.

You stared at the clock with dread. One. Whole. Hour. Just waiting. It was at the end of your day a little while before dinner, but here you waited. If you wanted, you could go do something else, but you were almost to anxious to move.

  


About 55 minutes later, you were too busy playing with your patronus as a way to distract yourself from your looming anxiety attack. Focusing on your happiest memories had a way of keeping your mind off things. A large Hippogriff pounced around the room with careless ease, prancing on desks and taking it upon himself to look as majestic as possible. It almost felt like your patronus was its own personality, not controlled by your wand.

He was a symbol of strength and pride to you. It is a very rare patronus to get, but he reminded you so much of yourself. Strong, driven, maybe a little prideful, but willing to bow to those who would take the time to try. 

The door to the Professor’s office opened once more, only to have your Hippogriff run into the long legs of Professor Hiddleston. Your cheeks went warm as the light blinded both Deanne and the Professor. Apparently your patronus wanted to be all over the professor as well.

“Yes, umm, well, I will be seeing you next week Ms. Trolley”, Professor Hiddleston concluded. She smiled up at him before leaving the room. You could hear your heart pounding like a drum in your head as he gestured for you to join him in his office. You picked up your parchment and wand before taking shaky steps up to the room.

The Professor held his hand out to you as you neared him, greeting your warmly. “It is nice to finally meet you, Ms. (Y/L/N)” His warm hand enveloped yours with complete and total ease. He towered over you and you had to crane your neck to look him in the eye. He was even more beautiful up close.

“It’s nice to meet you too, professor”, you mumbled quietly.

Together you entered the warm office, set up perfectly for him with many rows of books and a warm tea kettle on his crowded desk. He motioned for you to sit down in the seat across from his own, keeping the desk between you both. He looked completely comfortable and sprawled out from his seat, which looked more like a throne than a normal chair. All you could imagine was sitting in between those long legs and doing things you had truly never fantasized about doing before.

“So how would you like me to help you this year?” He began.

You tried to get your voice to work, but your voice felt so dry, like the Sahara. “I…” you tried to find words, and your confidence while you were at it. “I’m looking to grow, to be more prepared for what comes my way”.

He picked up a random file from his desk with those incredibly long fingers that gave you delicious and naughty ideas. “According to your transcripts, you have nearly perfect marks in every class you’ve taken throughout the seven years at Hogwarts. You’ve been referred to as the new Hermione Granger by every single teacher you’ve been under. What could I possibly teach you that you don’t already know?”

“I want to know how to fight the hard stuff”, you answered definitively. “The things… well, the things that you can’t be prepared for. The things that knock you known and crush you without using any spells”.

He looked at you curiously, like you were a puzzle he was trying to solve. “I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that”, he reflected while running his fingers through his beautiful, shaggy curls. He continued to stare at you with the same expression, like he was trying to figure you out. Your cheeks became warm once again under his vigilant gaze.

A brilliant smile came to his lips as he seemed to figure it out. “I think I can make that happen. No one can truly prepare themselves for what lies in the dark places of this world, but there may be a way I can help you. I was once an Auror. I fought as a young man in the corrupted ministry against some of the darkest of this world, and I lost my family because of it. My promise is that some things are tough and you can never truly prepared yourself for the horrors of this fight”.

“I am so sorry about your family, Sir”, you whispered softly.

“Please don’t worry about me. I couldn’t keep fighting as an Auror. Instead I am doing my greatest to teach others to fight better, stronger, and be prepared for the dangers life brings”, Professor Hiddleston reassured. “Now, I’ve told you my motivations. I’m anxious to hear what would make a brilliant witch want to be an Auror”.

“It’s a long story”, you started, hoping not to have to go into it. The Professor just decided to pour you a cup of tea with two cubes of sugar while waiting for your answer patiently. You sighed deeply before continuing. “During my second year, when Voldemort seized the school, I was here. I heard his voice as he asked for Harry Potter and knew the threat behind it was real. Then they forced me to leave everyone I cared about to fight without me. I was so young, but there was a boy I was… dating at the time among those who stayed”, you gulped down the tears that rose to your eyes at the mention of Jesse. It never really stopped hurting no matter what you tried to do. “He died in the fighting. A giant had taken him out”.

A large hand wrapped around your own, clearly in a way meant to comfort, but it sent electricity throughout your whole being. He was leaning on the desk, facing you, his tea wrapped in one hand and the other hand on yours. Compassion was in his eyes as he looked at you. You could almost drown in those eyes without trying. 

You took a sip of your tea to calm yourself before speaking again. “After the fact, he was given nothing, no recognition. In fact, the stories they tell say that not a single Slytherin stayed behind to fight… He gave his life for this school and no one even cares because a few Gryffindor lives matter more than ours. I guess I just wanted to honor his memory and spend my life doing the very thing that helps keep kids like him from dying ever again”, you finished.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment contemplating what had just been said. His hand still rest on yours, just barely caressing your skin. It was pleasant and distracting along with the smell of him, a mixture of rain and spearmint. It almost made you feel dizzy and distorted to be so near to him.

“I’m sincerely sorry to hear of your tragedy. Children so young should never be affected by the horrors of this world, yet too often are the first targets”, he answered after a while, releasing your hand and taking a step away. “Thank you for your honesty, I can imagine how difficult it was to say. That being said, I would be honored to help you be the best success you can be”. With that, he gave you a smile that broke through the darkness of your memories and made life burst forth throughout your being.

“Thank you, Professor”, you responded softly. His smile only grew wider and you knew in that single moment your heart was a goner.


	3. All bets are on

The next week was filled with mostly boredom as your classes continued on monotonously. The one thing you could look forward to was your classes with Professor Hiddleston and Quidditch.

  
As the eldest and best chaser the slytherin had, you were naturally chosen as the most obvious choice for team captain. You had been on the team for 5 years now and it was something you absolutely loved doing and being part of. This year, you got to be in control of the program; meaning no more rough handling. If slytherin was going to win the house cup this year, it would be out of talent, not rough and desperate playing.

  
Team tryouts went well. There was a lot of talent this year and you had more than enough strategy to make the team successful. Rylin Fletcher was your seeker this year and she was very promising. Not necessarily Harry Potter kind of skill, but she worked hard to be the best she could and that's all that mattered.

  
So every night, you booked the stadium for practice until the team became a well-oiled machine. You taught them to think outside of the box. It wasn't brute strength or insane bravery that makes a team unstoppable. It's about their ability to be smarter and more willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. Most slytherin captains focused on just the doing whatever it takes that they forget the inherent brilliance available to any slytherin that learns the difference between ambition and tantrum-throwing like a two year old.

  
Your next meeting the Professor Hiddleston was much like the last. He told some stories about Aurors throughout history and gave you biographies and journals to read. It was incredible just to spend the time truly understanding that Auror work wasn't just beating up bad guys. It was filled with mundane things and small issues, but that was ok. It reminded you of something you had learned about in your Muggle studies, where they had officers who kept laws and prosecuted law breakers. It was danger filled, but often there wasn't much to do.

  
He didn't tell many personal stories about his years as an auror. Every time he even seemed to remember them, his whole countenance became dark and stormy. Every part of you wanted to hold him as the memories haunted him. It was so odd to ache for someone the way he made you ache for him.

  
Before you knew it, the first game of the year had sprung upon you. It was Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin, and honestly, it was a pretty even matchup this year. Apparently, that smiley Hufflepuff who approached you was the other team’s captain. And his name was Delven Reese. You smiled at the thought of him avoiding you after your team crushed his.

  
Breakfast had no taste as you quickly ate the needed protein for your day. Everyone around you was chattering excitedly, ignoring the looks from the other houses that clearly wanted to see Slytherin lose. You looked around to make sure your team was taking care of their bodies by eating something then went back to ignoring everyone.

  
“Hey you!” A familiar voice interrupted your solitude. You looked up with annoyance to see Delven sitting across from you, breaking the unspoken rule of houses intermingling at meals. He just smiled at you without taking in the shocked looks from the other students.

  
“Are you ready for the match today?” He asked nonchalantly.

  
You gave him a look before responding. “Listen, if you are trying to mess with my head before the match, you might as well just stop”.

  
“Nonsense”, he assured. “I would be very dumb if I thought I could snap you out of your concentration. I just thought it might be a little interesting to add a bet to the game today”, he continued with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  
This clearly had most students interested. A bet would make the game thoroughly more interesting. You cocked your head curiously. “What kind of bet are you thinking?”

  
“Just a trifle really. I was thinking that if Hufflepuff catches the snitch first, you have to go with me to Hogsmeade on a date”, he proposed bravely.

  
The whole table seemed to become very quiet as they all stared at the quiet and sullen captain. You didn't know quite how to respond, stunned. Finally, an amusing response to his bet ran through your head.

  
“And if slytherin wins the match, you have to ask Professor McGonagall out in front of the whole school”, you countered. The tables snickered and joked as they waited for his response.

  
He simply held out his hand to shake yours in response. At this rate, the match would be closely watched by the entire school. Most would take Hufflepuff’s side of course, but Slytherin was used to being the underdog; in fact, slytherin flourished when everyone was against them.

  
As everything at the table quieted down again and returned to normal, you looked over towards the head table to find Professor Hiddleston looking at you with a look you couldn't quite interpret. The minute you caught his gaze, he looked away to start a conversation with Professor Sprout.

  
You tried to shrug the look off, but the more you tried to not think about it, the more it bothered you. Why did he look almost angry?

 

 

  
The match was filled with a majority of the student body looking to see who would win. You gave your team the best pep talk you could before you walked out into the stadium and your entrance was met with almost more boos than cheers, but it had long since stopped fazing you.

  
Madam Hootch was the Ref for this match as usual and you stood across from Delven, waiting for the match to begin. He just kept smiling at you, unfazed by any of the excitement. The balls were released and the match began.

  
You managed to grab the Quaffle before the other chasers did and began your race to the posts. Some beaters hit the bludger towards you which you just barely managed to dodge, before throwing the Quaffle into the far right post before the keeper could get there. 10 points for Slytherin. You grinned at Delven’s shocked face, before speeding off again.

  
Your team prepared for the dramatic first move that was almost too quick to know what happened. Of course quidditch was about the long game, but you knock a team down a bit when you score quickly and unexpectedly.

  
The two slytherin beaters were working in sync with each other, the chasers with precision, and the keeper denied any entry. Your seeker searched for any sign of the snitch but neither side had yet to see much of anything.

  
Some time later, the announcer called out Slytherin was over 200 points ahead and Hufflepuff was beginning to show their desperation to change the outcome. Like an impenetrable machine, your team was unaffected by the change. You just kept driving without emotion or cruelty.

  
You were in the middle of another maneuver when you heard shocked gasps from the crowd. You looked up to see your seeker falling from the sky at a very dangerous height. You threw the Quaffle to the other chaser before zooming as quickly as you could to stop her fall. You probably should have just done a spell, but this was your kid in danger.

  
You managed to get right above her and catch her hand, holding it with. Everything you could. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she looked toward the ground terrified. Barely a second passed before you were hit with a bludger and the two of you plummeted to the ground

 

 

  
The moment you realized you were dreaming was when you felt Professor Hiddleston’s arm around you, his scent washing over you like a tidal wave. You could almost feel his muscled chest against your face and it was all you could do to not message those beautiful muscles.

  
“(y/n)” his voice called to you, pulling you from your dream state, only to realize he really was holding you. Unfortunately, the splitting pain in your head kept you from being able to enjoy it.

  
“Ughhhh..” you barely managed, clinging to him. It was excruciating to try to open your eyes so you decided to keep them closed.

  
“We are almost to the hospital wing. Don't worry, Madam Pomfrey will take care of you”, he reassured.

  
You just groaned in response, afraid to move. Somehow in your pain, you remembered Rylin, moaning her name as a way of asking.

  
“We managed to catch you both mid fall, but the bludger hit you pretty hard, causing you to go unconscious even before you fell. Rylin is with the rest of the team in the locker rooms”, he explained without missing a step. The air around you changed as the heat of the sun was replaced by the cool of castle. Professor Hiddleston’s long stride echoed in the halls.

  
You relaxed against him at hearing this. His whole essence was overwhelming as you listened to his heart beat. It would be your life's goal to always be this close to him, if he would let you. It was like being home on Christmas or rereading your favorite book in front of a roaring fire.

  
“What do we have here, Professor?” Madam Pomfrey asked inquisitively as he walked through the open door of the hospital wing.

  
“Just a quidditch accident. A bludger hit her pretty hard in the head, so I thought it might be a good idea to get her here as quickly as possible”.

  
“Of course!” Madam Pomfrey exclaimed before preparing whatever she would need. Professor Hiddleston carried you over to a bed and slowly lowered you into it. Everything in you just wanted him to keep holding you somehow, to never let go. But the warmth of his arms left you on the cool sheets of the hospital bed. You just managed to open your eyes to see his beautiful face hovering over yours for a moment, his lips parted as if he was about to kiss you. He was the most glorious thing you had ever seen and if it wasn't for the pain in your head, you might have kissed him yourself.

  
Instead, he simply takes a stray hair out of your face and turned to Madam Pomfrey. Disappointment coursed through you, but you tried to ignore it. Madam Pomfrey gave you some sort of concoction that soothed your headache and put you to sleep quickly. The last thing you remembered before losing consciousness was the soft feeling of a kiss upon your forehead.

 

 

  
A few hours, you were shoved and pulled out of your dreams by a commotion. You opened your eyes to see your bedside surrounded with people.

  
“Hey, look who's awake!” Lizzie announced. The group expressed their concern and happiness that you were ok.

  
“You missed it, girl! Right as you fell, Hufflepuff caught the snitch, not that it affected much considering how far behind they were, but at least we didn't lose horribly like we would have without you!” Lizzie went on and on. You felt your heart drop in your stomach at hearing that. Now you had to go with Delven to Hogsmeade. At least he was going to have to humiliate himself in front of the whole school first.

  
“Oh, and I think you’re Professor Hiddleston's fav! He saved both you and Rylin before picking you up in his arms and carrying you all the way here!! Had he not been a Professor, I would have thought he liked you. He was so concerned about you”, Lizzy continued to ramble. Your cheeks grew very warm as you imagined Professor Hiddleston actually feeling the same way you did.

  
Maybe one day, you'd both meet outside of school at some inn or pub and he might be interested, but it didn't make much sense to you.

  
He was too angelic, like a mythical siren, and you were certain that the love you felt for him would be the death of you. 


	4. A Proposition to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry it has taken me so ridiculously long to get this chapter out, but here it is. I will try to continue if life should keep me from getting stuff done, but hopefully we can get through this together. 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated and loved, as usual.

 

Your stay at in the hospital wing didn’t last for more than a few hours before sending you back to your dormitory. Despite a slight pounding in your head, you were feeling back to normal. The whole house was in celebration mode when you walked into the dungeons. All the cheering did less than help your throbbing headache problem. 

With a gracious smile and a couple accepting high fives, you made your way to your room so you could get a moment of silence. The stone and marble door separating you from your peers helped to bring some silence and a relief to your throbbing head. You leaned against the back of the door to take a few breaths. The room was cool and relaxing to your senses.

Suddenly, your mind began to wander, drifting to the warmth you experienced in the arms of a certain professor. The way his hands gripped you tightly under your knees, the way his muscled chest pressed against your side, holding you there with a beautiful strength. Your mind began to wander, envisioning those hands gripping your thighs as he lowered his beautiful face into your crotch. The way his chest would feel as he pressed inside of you, slowly and intimately. 

The once cool room soon served just to cool your overheated body. Your breathing became erratic as you ran your hands down the curves of your body, imagining his beautiful hands instead. A small gasp left your lips as you brushed your erect nipples through your clothing.

“Yes, darling. Moan for me. I want to hear every beautiful sound those lips have to offer”, that seductive voice in your head began to say. You could practically see his mischievous grin  You could hear that chuckle in his voice as your body responded so violently to every feeling, every vivid image coursing through your mind like it was actually happening. 

A particularly loud laugh snapped you out of whatever it was you were doing to yourself. You groaned a little, trying to ignore the wetness leaking out of you and on your thighs. This man could make you a mess without even touching you, and it made literally no sense to you. No one ever affected you like this. And it was incredibly confusing.

The next day, you woke up feeling much better in the sense of your head, but your body was still brimming with frustration. With it being the weekend, there were no classes to focus on and distract you, but that also meant there was no class with the same professor that was the cause for all of your frustration. Probably for the best. You would probably jump on him if you got a chance.

Breakfast was normal, but for some reason, the normal skirt and stocking ensemble you wore every day was a million times more erotic than normal. You felt half naked, even though you were dressed in the exact same uniform every other girl wore. Focus… just focus. It was as if Professor Hiddleston’s very presence halfway across the room could turn you into a whimpering mess. 

The funny thing was, when you got up the courage to look his way, he was staring at you. Intently. There was something dark and curious in that stare, but it was like the whole room stopped once again when your eyes met his. His piercing blue eyes made your whole body feel as if you had been set on fire. Like he could see your need seeping through your barely held control.

The moment was interrupted by a loud banging sound echoing throughout the main hall. You looked down at your plate quickly, your cheeks warming slightly at the intensity of the gaze that had just ended. The commotion eventually drew your eyes away from your breakfast to see what was going on. 

In the very middle of the walkway was Delven in dress robes, strutting his way towards the head table. He looked rather ridiculous, but he didn’t seem to care that the whole school was watching. Even the teachers were paying attention to what was happening. He walked straight up to Professor McGonagall and proceeded to get down on one knee. Everyone got really quiet at that, a crowd forming behind him to try and hear what was being said.

“My dearest headmistress, the highlight of this school and my life, I have come to your humble table today to do nothing more than ask for the happiness of my entire life, the fulfillment of my young dreams, the one thing that would bring me the most pleasure in this dark and dreary world. I need but one thing, not a trinket or a title. Simply the hand of the most skilled transfiguration teacher and headmistress for one evening. An evening that I would remember for the whole of my life”, he propositioned eloquently. The look on McGonagall’s face was absolutely hilarious, a mixture of shock and embarrassment and anger that made the whole situation that much more hilarious. Then, as part of his act, he pulled out a dozen roses and handed them to the headmistress. She looked as if she would have rather fought a cave troll than hold the roses presented to her. The minute she accepted them, however, they burst into a dozen doves which flew into a heart shape right above her head.

“Mr. Reese…” Professor McGonagall began, once she found her voice.

“Please, my loveliness, call me Delven”, he interrupted suavely.

“ **_MR. REESE_ ** ,” she began again, raising her voice ever so slightly. “As flattered as I am by the bravery it took for such a proposal, I must firmly decline your offer. As the Headmistress of Hogwarts, I have no interest in damaging my position through an improper relationship and neither should you have any interest in letting your feelings cloud your ability to learn and grow before entering the world”. Her eyes showed a clear threat if anything more was to be said.

Delven decided to ignore the forewarning of her gaze as he backed away. “Oh my heart”, he gasped emotionally. It wasn’t difficult to see through the act, but it only proceeded to make Professor McGonagall’s face even more red. The doves from his bouquet burst into fairy dust as they fell upon the shoulders of many highly amused teachers. 

He pretended to brush a few tears away from his eyes and smiled at Professor McGonagall one last time. “I hear your words and despite their cut to my heart, I will hold tight to the thought of our being together one day outside of the halls of this school”. And with that, he blew a kiss to her and strode out of the great hall with the same confidence he entered with.

The whole hall was silent for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. McGonagall didn’t seem too thrilled, but even she got a chuckle or two in. You laughed a little to yourself, before remembering that you still had to go to Hogsmeade with Delven now. There was no turning back. You grimaced slightly at the thought of enduring his high energy nature for a while, but he came through on his part of the bet, so you had no choice to come through on your end.

Breakfast seemed to have lost it’s flavor as you laid your fork down. There was something that McGonagall said that struck a chord inside of you and you were feeling particularly guilty. Despite knowing what having interest in each other might do to Professor Hiddleston’s position at Hogwarts, you still kept wanting him. The damage it would cause to a man who only deserved to be honored for his work would be irrefutable. 

No, you thought to yourself. No matter what you wanted or wished for, Professor Hiddleston was a man of integrity that didn’t need your pesky hormones screwing with his life. You determined in that moment to put all thoughts of him aside, allowing the guilt to keep your head under control. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from glancing over at him before you left the Great Hall though. He seemed deep in thought, mulling over something or another. He glanced your way and smiled, but there was something about that smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. With all the self control you could muster, you looked away and began to walk as far away from that man as your legs could carry you. 


	5. Hogsmeade

The weekend approached very slowly as you dreaded your upcoming date with Delven. He seemed thoroughly thrilled despite your hesitancy. You began to convince yourself that maybe it was for the best. Delven was cute in his own way and if you could just find a way to be interested in him, maybe you can get over this silly crush.

You woke up on the morning of the Hogsmeade trip feeling exhausted. You tried to do something a little more than normal with your hair and threw on a little bit of makeup you bought at a muggle store in London. Looking into the small mirror in your dorm, you threw on a dark green blouse and some black cotton leggings to keep you warm in the chilly fall weather. You looked pretty cute if you could say so yourself. It was nice to get out of your usual school uniform you were forced to wear every day. 

Lizzie stopped her usual morning routine of sleeping until the last minute and stared at you with a sly smile. “Maybe someone is a little more excited about this date than she told everyone,” Lizzie teased. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” you muttered, not fulling looking at her.

“Suuuuure you don’t,” she answered before groaning and standing up from her bed. You were too busy stuffing a small bag of gold into a small backpack. “Like you ever throw on makeup without wanting to impress.”

You just responded with a sigh and left the room without looking back. Delven was your only hope to surviving this final year at Hogwarts without ruining your life and someone else’s. Or just making yourself look like an idiot for thinking that a professor would ever be interested in you.

The gates of Hogwarts opened as the droves of students walked out and into the small road that lead to Hogsmeade. With the newly opened Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes in Hogsmeade, students looked forward to their weekends much more than before. There were certain items that were forbidden inside Hogwarts, so George Weasley managed to work with McGonagall to make his products available to students all year long. There wasn’t anything that could potentially cause students to miss a class or hurt someone else. But there was a lot of the fun aspects that were still available, such as the Boxing Telescope and Headless Hats. 

There was a chill in the air as you walked next to your fellow students, causing you to pull your thin jacket tighter around your body. You searched everywhere for Delven, but you didn’t see his ridiculous smile among the crowds. A small bit of disappointment, but mostly relief coursed through you. So much for the promised distraction.

You caught the gaze of one of the Hufflepuff students, a tall, dark skinned girl by the name of Katari. Running over to her side, you asked her where Delven was.

“I’m not sure”, she answered curiously. “I haven’t seen him around since yesterday. Some of the girls in my dorm were talking about him being sick or something, but I doubt it was something Madame Pomfrey couldn’t handle”, she reassured to the best of her ability.

“Thanks for your help”, you answered after a second. Looks like you were on your own for this trip. Lizzie had some last minute homework to do today, and your list of friends wasn’t very long. 

Instead of heading into town, you decided to take a side path for a walk. You caught sight of Hagrid’s hut, but followed the path around the grounds of Hogwarts towards the shrieking shack. You’d end up in Hogsmeade eventually, but you needed to clear your thoughts for a little while. 

As you made your way down, you heard a voice calling after you, one you were really hoping was just in your head. Or perhaps hoping it wasn’t.

“(Y/L/N)!” It called, drawing you from your thoughts to something you had tried to make off limits. You turned unwillingly to see Professor Hiddleston running towards you, warmly bundled in his robes. He looked just as beautiful outside of Hogwarts as he did inside. 

“Hello, Professor,” you greeted quietly. He caught up with you quickly, the cold air causing his cheeks to blush a deep red. 

“It appears your escort has failed you today”, he started, a little breathlessly. “It’s not safe for you to journey out on your own without anyone to come with you. I was assigned as a chaperone today so would you mind if I walked with you?” he requested softly. “If you don’t want my company, I suggest we head towards the protection of Hogsmeade.”

You groaned under your breath. You were being forced to choose between spending time alone with the professor and being around a lot of excited third years for much too long. It might give you some time to get used to being around the Professor, maybe discover something irritating and unattractive you could focus on. 

“I guess I would appreciate the company on my walk”, you sighed. He smiled beautifully before gesturing down the path for you to go first. You just nodded and continued to walk with the Professor right besides you.

It was another minute or so before anything was said again. You didn’t have much ability to think when every breeze wafted his smell to you, intoxicating you like a powerful love potion. Your body shivered against the cold, or nerves. You couldn’t quite tell the difference.

“Are you cold, Miss (Y/L/N)?” He asked concerned. You shook your head, but he clearly didn’t believe you. With a small grunt, he took off the coat over his robes and placed it on your shoulders. It felt like some dumb chick flick moment, but holy crap. There’s a reason chick flicks add that in. It makes you feel like you can fly, like you are protected and loved and… your brain really need to shut up. He was just being a gentleman. Didn’t take away the fact that the smell of him was amazing as it surrounded you. 

“There you go”, he said with a smile. He began to walk again, this time a little more hunched over against the wind. “How are your classes going this year? Learning everything you hoped you might?”

You shrugged, but when met with his expectant silence, you knew he wanted an actual answer. “They are going fine. There’s not much I find very difficult at this point. The charms work can be very interesting, finally getting into some very complex theories. Transfiguration is average, posing some growth. And of course, Defense Against the Dark Arts has opened my mind to what I need to be prepared for, thanks to you”, you added at the end. 

Professor Hiddleston blushed a little bit, but continued on without a hitch. “I am glad you have found such enjoyment in my classes. You are actually one of the best students I have had the pleasure of teaching this year”, he complimented. 

Now it was your turn to blush. Your walk happened upon the overlook to the shrieking shack, dusting over with a dry snow that turned the landscape to a beautiful white. It wouldn’t stick for a couple months or so, but it was still beautiful, even for the moment. Your mind wandered to this moment with the Professor. It was just like the snow, and be beautiful for the moment before disappearing into nothingness.

“The snow is beautiful”, you whispered softly. A small flake rested on your eyelash while you tried to blink it out. Suddenly, a warm finger reached up and gently touched the snow flake as it dissolved in the warmth exuding from him. 

“Yes, you are”, he whispered so softly you almost thought you imagined it. You looked up at Professor Hiddleston’s face, catching those brilliant blue eyes with your own. He was staring at you with such intensity and desire that your breath caught in your lungs. It wasn’t like he hadn’t stared this intently before, you just had never seen it up close before.  He leaned in just a little, so close to your face and your eyes drifted closed as his breath wafted over your face. 

You snapped out of it as you heard a soft cough from the professor. He’d moved away to an appropriate distance before holding his arm out for you to take. You just smiled up at him for a second and took his arm. Together you walked towards Hogsmeade, pretending that whatever moment you just had didn’t exist, that the tension was nothing more than the stress of life. Maybe you just imagined it in the moment. There was no way he was about to kiss you. 

“So what was visits to Hogsmeade like when you were at Hogwarts?” You started the conversation this time.

“Pretty much the same. Except for the new joke store that just opened. Us students would warm our bellies with too much butterbeer after walking around in the cold and seeing all the sights”. The way he told his stories was enchanting, like you could see him and his school buds joking around right in front of her. 

“Oh, and that’s not mentioning the fun we would have sneaking all sort of desserts out of Honeydukes. There was one haul we almost got caught,” he chuckled, running his free hand through his delicious curls. “We were dragged in front of Dumbledore with our pockets stuffed. If it wasn’t for my mate, Jamie, we would have had detention for a century. He quickly did a charm and all of the evidence disappeared before they could prove we did anything.” You just smiled up at him, feeling like a happy idiot. He looked down and met your eyes, dwarfing you in seconds under his gaze. He cleared his throat after a second and went on. “Dumbledore never said anything, but we always had a feeling that he knew what we did. So from then on, we paid for candies.”

“I wish I would have had more time spent with Professor Dumbledore in school,” you commented softly, like admitting a deep regret or secret. “He died before I could truly get to know the crazy genius he was”.

Professor Hiddleston covered the hand on his arm with his long finger in attempt to comfort you, but instead causing your whole body to tense. Something about him touching you sent your heart into a million beats per second. You couldn’t control your physical reaction to it and it made you wish that you didn’t have to. That somehow he could feel the same way and do something about this building frustration… something productive. 

“He was a brilliant man, though not necessarily the best man to be in charge of children. Professor McGonagall has shown the true potential for the school, accomplishing both being merciful and strict. It has allowed for troublemakers to grow and reach their potential,” he complimented. 

You just nodded in response. The stories you heard about Dumbledore idolized the man. He was incredibly powerful as a wizard, but he took risks that no one should take with the lives of children. 

After a few moments of silence, the two of you finally arrived to the main square of Hogsmeade. The small town was bustling with the excited voices of students everywhere. You looked around at all the beautiful things being shown in all the windows. The most interesting one was of course Weasley Wizarding Wheezes, decorated with all the newest gadgets and trinkets. You smiled up at the professor, trying to accomplish something a little wistful.

“Would you care to join me, sir? Even a professor like yourself might enjoy such well made jokes and fun”, you offered flirtatiously. He simply grinned down at you in response.

“I think it might be somewhat educational”, he said with a wink. The thoughts that ran through your mind at that wink were enough to make your knees weak. 

Inside the shop, there was an insane amount of bustling around. The amount of products was intended to catch your eyes in an insanely distracting way. Love potions and fireworks were everywhere. Girls surrounded the area with pimple disappearing serum and Pigmy Puffs. There were advertisements to the things you could buy in Diagon Alley, as well as a memorial to Fred Weasley as the co-founder.

You let go of the Professor’s arm to explore a bit. There were so many beautiful and amusing things every where, from Self-writing quills, to Anti-Gravity Hats. You tried to avoid the love potions in an attempt to avoid the temptation they might bring on you. The Pigmy Puffs were cute, but you didn’t exactly want the responsibility of a pet. The fireworks were pretty for a moment, but you were looking for something that you’d keep with you for a long while. Because whether or not anything would ever happen with Professor Hiddleston, you wanted to remember today.

Your eyes landed on the Weasley’s Snowstorm, a magical snow globe that would bring your beloved snow into any moment you would prefer. Most people hated the bitter cold, but there was something beautiful about the snow that made you blissfully happy. Now you could have it all year long if you ever wanted to see some white snowflakes. 

You bought your package from the cashier and pocketed it safely.  The Professor was strolling around, looking somewhat cramped in the small space, but he still looked terribly comfortable. He met your gaze with a smile and walked over to your side.

“Find something interesting?” He asked.

You showed him the snowglobe before pocketing it again. “I thought this was beautiful and classic without being too childish. What do you think?”

He smiled down at you. “Definitely beautiful”, he whispered. 

You blushed a bit. It didn’t really make much sense, but the thought of him thinking you were beautiful was pleasant all together. 

 

The rest of the day went by quickly with more conversations and more walking around. Professor Hiddleston was great company for the day, keeping you entertained with all sorts of stories and anecdotes. It was a perfect day. You could almost just imagine this being an actual date, maybe in another world where he wasn’t your professor and you weren’t his student. A world where he may be interested in you. 

You were about to enter the doors to Hogwarts alongside of this wonderful man, when you stopped and handed him back his jacket. 

“Thank you for accompanying me today, sir”, you whispered. “I doubt it would have been nearly as much fun without your stories of your childhood at Hogwarts.”

“It was my pleasure, Miss (Y/L/N),” he responded. He took your hand in his and kissed the back of it before disappearing into the darkness of the entry hall. Your whole body tingled for hours afterwards and you knew that today would be a day you were not going to forget. 


	6. The Grand Revealing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so am I the only one seriously attracted to Tom with a beard? like the classic facial hair? Don't get me wrong, he's a god clean shaven as well, but there's something fantastic about him with hair. It warms him up and reminds me of a younger Sirius Black. Like if they did a remake of Harry Potter, giving the role of Sirius to Tom would be almost perfect. Now I'm rambling again sorry lol but here are some images for what I've been envisioning http://images6.fanpop.com/image/polls/1158000/1158416_1356185659148_full.jpg?v=1356185663.   
> http://25.media.tumblr.com/023c36a6399ff62d3899bcd0d2e41798/tumblr_mgso0rzmos1qk04hlo1_500.jpg
> 
> Also, here's a picture I imagined for Professor Hiddleston's Office
> 
> http://media.blog.homedepot.com/wp-content/uploads/Nigella-Lawson-Library.jpg

The whole weekend was torture for you as you tried to forget your trip with the Professor. Your body wasn’t quite coming to terms with everything that happened and it was driving you absolutely mental. Your body begged for release. But you didn’t want to go unless it was by his, large, elegant, and perfect hands. 

This whole desperation was a new experience for you, completely distracting you from being able to think logically or make sense of normal, everyday situations. So to avoid thinking and the possibility of seeing the Professor again, you stayed in your dorm for the rest of the weekend. Lizzie had a huge pile of candies from Honeydukes that you gave you part of, so you were able to survive without leaving. 

The privacy allowed you time to focus on studying for your N.E.W.T.S., which were vital to your moving on and getting a great job. Privacy was best. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself, over and over again, fighting every fantasy that tried to take over. You worked too hard to lose it over a schoolgirl crush. You were better than that… Hopefully.

By Sunday evening, you were feeling majorly stir crazy. You attempted some yoga for a little while and focused on some difficult Arithmancy homework that needed to be finished before next week. Despite everything, your mind still wandered. With a sigh, you decided to try and find your snow globe among the few things you bought in Hogsmeade, hoping it would bring you some distraction. Within a few moments, every item you had was strewn on your bed. Your heart pounded as the one item you were searching for was completely absent. 

You groaned out loud when you realized the place you had pocketed it was Professor Hiddleston’s jacket. There was no way you could go see him, but you really wanted your snow globe. Of course you would be faced with the one dilemma that you were specifically avoiding. You swore under you breath, cursing the fates, or the gods, or whoever that was orchestrating this mess of your life, before working to make yourself presentable. 

It was just going to be a quick stop in at his office and nothing more. You repeated that to yourself over and over again as you threw on a bright blue skirt you felt attractive in and a dark blouse. You let your hair out of the braids it was in and let it fall loosely around your face. The outfit felt lovely, and way more sexual than you knew what to do with. 

The Common room was filled with students studying or talking in their own groups. Sunday afternoons were your favorite days at Hogwarts. There was nothing to do but finish up some last minute homework and relax with your classmates any way you’d like. Except you had no way of enjoying the moment right now. You could barely control the nervous shaking that was refusing to allow you control of your body.

You made your way slowly to Professor Hiddleston’s office, passing lounging groups of students in the many hallways and staircases. Your feet knew their way as your mind wandered. Seven years of memories swam through your head, from being sorted into Slytherin in your first year, or your first kiss with the charming fifth year student who saw your beauty and intelligence unlike anyone had before. Like ghosts, they swam before your eyes like a mirage of the past. You weren’t one to be sentimental, but you greeted your past like an old friend, embracing all the regrets and happiness in one warm hug. 

Within moments, you reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, where the Professor’s office was adjacent. You could see yourself in your first year as Professor Snape taught the class in his usual snide way. He was kind to you, like all slytherins. Yet you never wanted his kindness. He was too cruel to others, despite ending up as a hero of the war. You worked to be different because you didn’t want to be a slytherin if it meant you would be like him. 

Your second year was much different. Instead of defense against the dark arts, you spent most of the year learning the actual dark arts. You watched as your fellow students were bullied and cursed for their failures, remember embracing Giles before he ran to join the fighting while you were left to crawl through the tunnels to escape the battle. The very last time you saw him alive was in this hallway. 

You shook off the rest of the memories, Giles face fading before you much slower than the rest of the images. No, the past was too painful sometimes. It’s better to look to the future and learn from the mistakes you made in the past. With a deep breath, you opened the door and entered the classroom. 

Professor Hiddleston’s door was closed, which wasn’t unusual, so you just knocked on the door. When you didn’t receive a response, you considered just leaving, but all you could think about was getting your snowglobe. Besides, the Professor always said his students could just come in his office if they ever needed help with a topic. Ignoring the little voice in the back of your head, you twisted the door handle open.

His office seemed to be normal, the lamps still well lit and rolls of parchment covering his desk. The books that always seemed strewn everywhere maintained their organized chaos, and a steaming teapot sat on it’s silver tray in front of a small settee in the small corner. But the Professor was nowhere to be found. A door off to the side was slightly adjacent, though it was never open when you had your class with him. 

“Professor?” You called out, hoping he would answer so you didn’t feel like you were snooping or breaking and entering. Despite your hesitancy, you walked towards the slightly open door. Through the crack, you could just barely make out a suite fitted for the Professor perfectly. There were more books strewn here and there, it seemed much neater than the outside. There was a large couch in your view, and a large wooden dinner table. It came with a fully stocked kitchen from what you could see. All of this was incredibly intriguing to you, until a surprising sound met your ears. 

There was a wet sound of skin hitting against skin, and amidst the noise, was a low moan that made your knees weak. Maybe the Professor was entertaining another woman right now, but you could only hear his voice. His beautifully deep, needy moans washed over you the longer you stood there in the doorway frozen. You closed your eyes and imagined what he must look like as he pleased himself. 

Maybe he was completely undressed, taking it slow and drawing out his pleasure. Or maybe he was standing there with his pants around his knees as he gave into his needs in the most desperate way possible. You imagined the way his jaw would clench as his hand moved expertly over his body, the veins in his neck popping out as he neared his end. His eyes would be nearly black as his pupils blew wide and a thin layer of sweat would glisten on his body. 

If you were a Gryffindor, you probably would have the courage to step in there and see him for yourself, but you couldn’t. You weren’t a peeping Tom, no matter how much your mind and body hungered to see what he looked like as he fell over the edge of oblivion. If his moans were any sign, he was close. But even if you couldn’t enter, you also couldn’t leave. So you stood there frozen as your body began burning with an indescribable need, the tops of your thighs becoming wet as you practically gushed at just hearing him get off. 

“(Y/N)” He cried out, making you jump straight out of your skin. You practically sprinted out of there, making it all the way to your dorm before realizing that wasn’t him discovering your listening, but him cumming to the thought of you. His voice wasn’t astonished. There was too much pleasure in that as he moaned it like a prayer. 

Wait, he moaned your name?! What?!!! 

No, you told yourself. You must have imagined it. There was no way he could have been pleasing himself to the thought of you. That didn’t make sense. Professor Hiddleston was so proper, so gentlemanly, he would never threaten his job… he would never want someone like you. He was just too perfect. 

With a frustrated and very confused sigh, you ran to your bed and tried to attempt sleeping. It took you nearly a half hour before your eyes could finally drift close without the memory of Professor Hiddleston’s moans sending your body into frustrated fits. 

 

_ In your dreams, he stood before you with a smile. Your skirt was much shorter than it had been in real life and you felt half naked in front of him. He didn’t waste any time as he bent you over his now cleared desk, pressing you against the chilled wood. His large hand wound its way through your hair and pulled, causing you to pull up against his hard body.  _

_ “Oh you are a naughty girl, aren’t you?” He sneered, before kissing a line up your neck, leaving a mark where your neck met your jaw. You moaned at the contact, pressing your bottom against his crotch in response. His free hand grabbed your breast roughly, massaging it in ways that increased the need in your body incredibly.  _

_ “Professor”, you whined. He simply laughed before pushing you back down on the desk while he pulled your skirt above your waist. Those large hands covered your bottom as he gripped and massaged them slowly, knowing exactly how much it tortured you.  _

_ “It seems my kitten went without underwear on purpose”, he practically purred. A sharp slap to your rear made you cry out, but not so much in pain as you would have thought. You found yourself pressing yourself back into his hand as if wanting more. “And I will reward you, darling. My wonderfully bad girl”. _

_ You felt something pressing up against your opening, but never entering you. You whined and tried to press yourself down on it, but the Professor kept it away from you. “Please fuck me, Professor… Please!” You begged with the last bit of control you had. You heard him laugh before he entered you with an incredible force. _

 

Maybe it was your moan that woke you, but you sat straight up in your bed at that second, breathing hard against the cool sheets. You could feel how drenched you were and your whole body complained with a severe amount of frustration and need you had never experienced before. Whether or not he wanted you, you needed him. And it was driving you insane.

But a more worrying issue might be the snow globe sitting on your nightstand. And it definitely hadn’t been there when you went to sleep. 


	7. The Start of Something Wonderful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HERE THERE BE SMUT
> 
> Hope you all enjoy. 
> 
> As usual, all feedback is appreciated

How your snow globe got from Professor Hiddleston’s office to your dorm was an absolute mystery to you, but your mind continued to play out this fantasy that he came to your room himself. Maybe you moaned his name in your sleep. Maybe he stared at your sleeping figure before swallowing hard and forcing himself to leave. All the ridiculous possibilities ran through your head like a speeding train. 

No matter what actually happened, sleep evaded you for the rest of the night. After a couple hours, your dorm mates came in and settled in for bed, while you pretended to already be asleep. There was a small part of you that wished you could sit Lizzie down and talk to her about everything happening. But talking would mean ridicule and possibly danger for the Professor. So silent you stayed.

The morning crept up on you much too slowly for your preference. You were over every possibility. You played out every scenario. No matter what, there wasn’t a happy outcome for anyone. You weren’t an unrealistic person, someone easily caught up in fantasies and impossibilities, so you worked through every desire, every outcome and if you got what you wanted, there would be more pain for yourself and the Professor than pleasure. Could you be that selfish if the opportunity presented itself? You didn’t quite know how to answer that question the more you mulled it over. The only way to survive was to quit DADA. Which would hurt your future a little, but it would keep yourself from scandal that would do infinitely more damage. 

You’d have thought that making that decision would have stopped the fantasies, but they just made you feel guilty every time you thought about it. Your body was filled with both sexual frustration and self hatred, warring inside of you for dominance. The mixture left you thoroughly confused. 

The sun roze through the cold morning mist and shone through your windows. Today was going to be a critical day. You were determined to survive, one way or another, and you weren’t giving up you ever wanted over a good snog… or an embarrassing confession. 

  
  


With a brave sigh, you entered Professor Hiddleston’s office for hopefully the last time. His desk was a little neater than last night, and he looked about as tired as you felt. His blue eyes slowly wafted up your body to look you in the face, a curious spark to them before gesturing for you to sit in the chair across from him. 

You lowered yourself in the seat before waiting patiently. Earlier that morning, you sent an owl with a request to be transferred out of his class. That same request was lying in the very middle of his desk as he studied you closely and silently. The tension was palpable, and breathing or moving felt like breaking a very thin piece of ice as you threatened to fall in bitter cold waters. 

You cleared your throat after a moment. The silence was getting to be too much. “I see you received my request, Professor”, you managed in a small voice.

“Yes, I did”, was his only response, continuing his intent stare. You shifted uncomfortably, your body still responding like the traitor it was. 

“And what do you think?” You ask as nonchalantly as you could, despite the tremors beginning to take control of your body. 

“I think... he began, standing from his seat and slowly walking around his desk. He never took his eyes off you, like a predator about to pounce on its prey. “...you are not being entirely honest with me”.

Your heartbeat jump as he neared you, your breathing just barely kept from gasping. “Wha… whattt… why do you sa...say that, sir?” you stuttered stupidly. Never before had you wished to be a Gryffindor, but in that second, you were desperate for the bravery to not look like an idiot.

Professor Hiddleston leaned against the edge of his desk, only a foot or so away from you. He crossed his arms over his chest, peering down at you through stormy blue eyes. He looked like a god about to dish out the cruelest punishment to a whimpering mortal. You unconsciously pressed your thighs together, desperate to relieve the growing pressure inside of you.

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about”, he pressed. His robes fit him much more than normal, the trousers accentuating his long legs and fitting tightly around his crotch. There wasn’t the normal layers of robe around him, just a tight fitting top that seemed on the verge of bursting at the seams, barely containing his hard body. Your mouth felt like cotton as you bit your lip so hard you tasted blood. 

When you didn’t respond, he pressed further. “How about you tell me the real reason why you want to leave my class, Miss (Y/L/N)”.

Your last vestiges of control slipped away as his deep voice reached into your senses and forced your mind to lose its resistance. Your eyes finally looked up into his again. There was no condemnation in his features, but he was determined to get the truth out of you. With a deep, shaking breath, you found the strength to tell him.

“I have to leave because I want you too much”, you whispered softly, never taking your eyes off his. He didn’t look as shocked as you thought he would, instead exuding a mixture of satisfaction and desire. Your words hung in the air, waiting. It felt like when a cartoon character ran off the edge of a cliff and they just hung there for a moment, looking to the audience as a desperate plea before falling. 

Just as you thought he was going to send you out of his office in shame, he grabbed your hand and pulled you up and out of your seat to stand in between his long, extended legs. You gasped softly, your whole body now visibly trembling. He used his other hand to brush a stray hair out of your face with an impossible gentleness, the hand holding yours drawing designs into your sensitive skin. 

“Oh, how I had hoped you would say that, darling”, he confessed, before leaning in just enough to capture your lips with his own. Your whole body went into shock as he kissed you gently. Every nerve felt inflamed and you found yourself leaning into the kiss with reckless abandon. You could feel him holding himself back as you tried to deepen the kiss, hesitantly pushing his tongue into your mouth when you opened for him. He wasn’t forceful or expectant, just exploring for a moment before pulling away.

You released a breath you didn’t know you were holding as he pulled away to look you in the eyes once more. His face looked like he was mulling something over, your hand still in his. You patiently waited for him to form the thoughts he was working on while you leaned against him, his hard body comforting against your own. 

“Darling,” he began after a second. “Before we do something more, I want to let you know what we are about to get into”. You waited patiently for him to continue, already knowing what he would say and whole heartedly still wanting him. So you just nodded to encourage him on.

He took a deep breath. “I do not wish for a simply sexual relationship, or to hide you from my world, but as you are my student, we cannot share what happens here with anyone. That includes your friends and family. All it would take for you to get kicked out of Hogwarts and for me to lose my job would be one person reporting us. In acting on this desire and want, we are risking everything. Maybe you were wise in trying to escape and I will still let you leave if you don’t think you want this”, he offered with finality. “If you do choose to take this risk with me, you will need to understand something else. I’m a possessive man, so if you wish to start this with me, then you will be mine alone”. His words caused you to shiver and a heat to build deep inside you. “I do not make it a habit of falling for women who will play with my affections and run to other men’s arms when the excitement wears off. If you want this, it must be exclusive”, he demanded. Something about this possessive warning of his was more hot than you could have imagined. “With that in mind, are you sure you want this, darling? Do you want to risk everything for pleasure or do I mean something more to you?” He asked completely unafraid. 

You stared into his eyes and in a moment you knew your answer. He was all you ever wanted in a man, both kind and intelligent, perfect in every way you could know. Maybe it was just a crush, but it had taken over your ability to reason. No one ever made you feel the way he did. Even if it didn’t last forever, it was worth it for the moment. 

“Yes, Professor. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”

You received a small glimpse of a smile before his lips took yours once more, this time more demanding and passionate. His tongue battled with dominance as his hands roamed your body hungrily. Your own hands dived into his hair to hang on for dear life. 

You could die kissing him. Breathing became nearly impossible, but suffocating never felt so wonderful. Pressed so tightly against his body, your body felt like it was on fire, burning through every last nerve and overheating your brain. His hand gripped your hips roughly and you moaned against his mouth. He grabbed your butt firmly and ground his clothed erection against you, somehow determined to reach you through the layers of clothing. You let one hand let go of his hair to reach between your bodies to palm him through those deliciously tight trousers. He growled against your lips, releasing them and beginning to suckle your neck, searching out your sensitive areas.

When he reached the junction of your jaw and neck, you cried out softly. He smiled against your skin at your little sounds. He suckled just enough to drive you insane without leaving a mark before biting your ear gently. 

“Darling”, he whispered with the most attractive, gravelly voice you had ever heard in your life. “I’m going to fuck you, right here and now on this desk. But I need you to remember something for me”. You moaned wantonly, pressing your thighs together to try and relieve the building pressure. “I need you to tell me if I do something you don’t like. Can you remember the word, Petrichor, for me? All you have to do is say petrichor and I’ll stop immediately, ok?” You nodded quickly, trying to press the word into your chemically drunk brain.

“Perfect”, he whispered before biting down a little harder on your earlobe. You cried out, but it was more out of surprise than pain. Immediately after, he stood and turned the two of you around until your back was pressed against the edge of his desk. He pressed you backwards on the desk with one hand while the other worked on pulling your sweater up. When he revealed your ample breasts constrained by your prettiest black bra, he groaned at the sight, before attacking them with vigor. One of his hands snuck around to unlatch your bra and pushed it up and out of the way along with your sweater. 

Within seconds, he latched onto your sensitive nipple, suckling and tugging it into a stiff peak. You moaned at the feeling, getting a little louder this time. He released with a small sigh, before picking up his wand and flourishing it into some sort of spell. You guessed he was probably soundproofing the room so no one would hear your sounds. 

“Now you can scream for me as much as I’d like”, he murmured softly. Professor Hiddleston began attacking your breasts again with a new vigor, leaving many marks on them where it wouldn’t be visible. You moaned at his ministrations, enjoying his mouth on your body while the heat and the need built unbearably in between your legs. 

His two large hands snuck up your thighs, tucking under your uniform skirt, making you thankful for the first time in 7 years that girls wore skirts instead of trousers. He teased the inside of your thighs, massaging them torturously. He inched up slowly, brushing against your lips through your panties. You whined with need. He smiled against your breast before picking you up off the desk, throwing your shirt and bra to the floor, and turning you around so your stomach now rested against the cold desk. 

“Oh, darling”, he groaned, taking in your panting and beautiful body presented to him. Not wasting anymore time, he unceremoniously pushed your skirt up your waist and ripped your simple, black panties from your body in shreds. You gasped at the roughness of his action, but you secretly loved it.  

His hands rubbed your bottom in circles, gripping it and pushing your cheeks apart to give him a good view of your glistening pussy. He inhaled deeply as you waited impatiently, arching your back into his hands. He chuckled a little at your need. 

“Impatient are we? Don’t worry, darling, you are going to find your release very soon,” he promised, almost sounding like a threat in the tone of voice he was using. His words only made you more wet as you tried to withstand the waiting. 

One of his long fingers reached down and began playing with your clit, jolting your whole body with electricity. Your moans became more frequent and uncontrollable. While one hand continued to play, the other began to enter you with one finger, curling forward to hit your G spot over and over again. After couple of thrusts, he added another finger, working on stretching out your tight pussy. 

He worked your body perfectly as you cried out again and again, getting closer and closer to you end. “You are so soaking wet for me. So tight and perfect. Does fucking your Professor make you feel hot, Miss (Y/L/N)? Are you a bad girl for your Professor?” He urged, demanding an answer from you.

“Ye.. YES, Professor!” You gasped out as he hit that sweet spot inside of you. Something about this dirty talk made you feel even more perfect as your whole body was played by him like a puppetmaster. 

His fingers began to fuck you hard and you gasped, grasping at the desk desperately. Your moans turned into pleas and begging as you got so close. 

“Do you want to come around my fingers like a dirty whore?” He demanded breathlessly with his rough pace. When you begged and pleaded as an answer, he hit that spot inside of you perfectly while speeding up a little more. “Then cum for me. NOW”, he forced. And like a good student, you obeyed your professor, screaming as you orgasmed harder than you ever had before. He rode out your tremors and didn’t withdraw him fingers until you had come down. You whined at the loss of him inside of you 

You heard the rustling of his clothes behind you before he grabbed his wand once more and did some silent incantation on himself. You glanced behind you to see what he was doing and saw his cock standing at full attention with some sort of thin magical barrier covering it. He was much larger than you even imagined, worrying you that he might break you just by entering you. 

He caught your gaze as you openly stared at him, blushing a little bit at your awe. “The spell I just did wasn’t for size, I promise. It is a protection spell to keep you from getting pregnant. Somehow, pregnancy might just let our little secret out”, he explained. You just nodded, appreciative of him thinking about that so you didn’t have to. 

He lined himself up against your entrance, picking up some of your wetness that he rubbed up and down his length. You tried to relax to prepare yourself. It wasn’t like you were a virgin, but something about his size said you were going to feel like one when he filled you in ways you had never been filled before.

“Remember our word?” He asked you concerned. When you nodded reassuringly back at him, he smiled. “Please don’t be afraid to use it if I hurt you at all”, he pleaded. You nodded once again and he began to push inside of you.

You weren’t going to lie: it definitely hurt a bit. But despite the pain, it also felt wonderful. Or maybe it was the pain that made it feel exceptional. You never considered yourself a masochist but in that second, you were getting off on the pain. After a few seconds, you felt his hips against your backside, signaling there was no more to push inside. He gave you a couple moments to adjust to his size.

“Ready, darling?” he asked breathlessly, probably trying to hold himself back with everything he had. You breathed out and allowed your muscles to relax around him before nodding. He exhaled before pulling out almost completely, only to sheath himself immediately and deeply. You let out a moan as he filled you perfectly. 

He repeated this action a few more times before starting a slow pace, pushing deep and intimately. Normally you loved speed, but there was something about how he drew it out that turned you on even more. He took his time and it was turning you into a whimpering mess. 

Suddenly, his large hand grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled you up against him, while he plowed into you as quickly and as roughly as possible. He bit your shoulder and held you there torturously as he hit that spot inside of you over and over again with his perfect cock. You could feel your orgasm nearing again as he took you with a primal need. 

He pushed you down again, the cold desk feeling good against your inflamed skin. His hands gripped your hips as an anchor and fucked you even harder. The room was filled with the sounds of your moans, his grunts, and the slap of wet skin. You saw stars behind your eyes as he managed an even better angle, your body beginning to convulse around him. His hips began to stutter in their rhythm, signaling he was close as well. 

“Come for me darling. Come for your Professor”, he groaned, trying to keep himself back until you had your release. Almost as if you body was waiting for his demand, you immediately came around him with enough force to make you feel like you were going to pass out. A few more thrusts and he joined you as you tried to regain some ability to think or move. 

His body rested on top of yours for a moment. It was comforting to feel his perfect weight on top of you, much more than you could admit. One of his large hands entwined with yours as you both tried to catch your breath. He kissed your back softly a few times before sitting up and pulling out. You whined at the loss of him.

Professor Hiddleston grabbed his wand again, cleaning himself and you up, though no cleaning could quite take away your thoroughly fucked feeling. He helped you get up right and held you steady when you wobbled a little. He looked into your eyes intently, clearly searching for some sign of pain or discomfort.

“Are you alright, darling? I really tried to not hurt you. Is everything feeling ok?” He inquired concerned. 

You smiled up at him. He looked beautiful like this, his hair a mess, his clothes misshapen, and his cheeks blushed. “I’m wonderful, Professor. I’ve never felt this good in my whole life”, you reassured. 

He smiled back at you, before kissing the top of your head. “I think you have earned the ability to call me, Tom, darling. While I enjoy the use of my title in the throws of passion, I want to hear your name come from those wonderful lips of yours when it’s just us”.

You brushed a stray curl from his face. “Thank you, Tom. Thank you for risking everything for this”, you whispered. 

His eyes shut at the feeling of your hand against his face. It was a much more intimate moment than most people would have after their first time having sex as a couple, but it just felt perfect. You just wished it would never end. 


	8. Library Rendezvous

The “class” you spent with the Professor began a whole new life you were never aware you could have. You never imagined you’d be the student who was having a secret affair with a Professor, much less one as unbelievably attractive as Tom Hiddleston. You felt like a giddy school girl. 

The secrecy of it all did very little to steal your excitement, but it could help sometimes to keep you from telling everyone about the amazing sex you had, that for some crazy reason, this beautiful man wanted you just as much. That’s not to say you weren’t sore to some extent, but your body craved more.

At dinner that night, you caught his gaze among the many students. He didn’t look long, but through a very subtle wink your way, leaving you smiling for the rest of the night. You literally couldn’t stop. 

Every day felt like torture as you tried to wait until you would be alone with him again. Every time you walked past his classroom, it took so much control for you to keep yourself from entering. You’d smile and nod whenever you passed him in the hallways, getting a beautiful smile and a short conversation, maybe even a small, barely noticeable touch, but it never lasted long enough for you.

On Thursday night, you were in the library, attempting to study late in the night for a History of Magic assignment. It was somewhat calming to focus on something that required a great deal of attention. You couldn’t allow your life to be turned completely upside down over a relationship that could only be about casual sex and would instantly be dismissed once it became too difficult for the Professor.  

If it wasn’t for those small touches or the shared looks, you would be worried that he was already done with you. As much as you wish you could control your own thoughts, even you were struggling with wrapping your head around it. This relationship was dangerous. To deny that would be to destroy yourself with the recklessness of a Gryffindor. So you would simply try to enjoy yourself why it lasted and attempt not to fall in love with the beautiful man.

So here you sat as most students had already given up and gone to their own common rooms in a nearly deserted library, trying to focus on making sure you had a future and life outside of your obsession. Madame Pince trusted you to your little corner of the library as long as you went to bed on time. The library was one of your most favorite places in the whole of Hogwarts and you spent more time here among the books than anywhere else. 

“Miss (Y/L/N)”, a familiar and beautiful voice called out to you, breaking your piece as your heart raced a million miles per minute. You looked up to see your Professor standing over you, looking down with a soft smile. “Is there something I can help you with? You seem thoroughly put out by whatever you are reading”.

You smiled back at him. “I would be very grateful for your help, Professor. I just can’t seem to understand this”, you answered, flirtatiously fluttering your eyes at him.

He pulled out a chair and placed in next to your own, drawing near to you. Grabbing your book and pulling it towards himself so he could grasp what you were studying, his face didn’t lose its mysterious glint. Suddenly, you felt one of his long hands reaching into your lap, grasping the muscles of your thigh deliciously. 

You leaned towards him a little more, trying to hide the stretch of his arm in between your legs. He began to talk about the Grindelwald, the Dark Wizard you were writing your homework assignment on, basically reading off exactly what you just read for yourself, while his fingers dexterously reached upwards. You tried to hide a gasp by making small noises of agreement, like you were listening to a lecture. 

“Now, he disappeared for quite some time, only to be discovered later on in America over an issue in New York with an Obscurus, finally being captured for a short time”, he droned on. As his fingers reached your underwear, he felt the moisture there, simply by hearing him talk. Your whole body felt like it was bursting with anticipation. He didn’t bother teasing you as he shoved your underwear out of the way and began stroking your clit furiously. You bit your finger in an attempt to keep your moans from being heard by any late night studying student, exhaling air to keep control. 

“Eventually, Grindelwald faced Dumbledore and was beaten permanently, despite their previous friendship and comradery. May still wonder today what kept Albus Dumbledore from going along the same path that Grindelwald chose”. He brought you quickly to your orgasm, expertly stroking the most sensitive part of your body. But he never missed a beat, his voice never letting on the truth of what he was doing. He seemed completely composed. You let out a strangled hum as you gripped the table for dear life, stars going off behind your eyes. 

He continued to rub you, though a little gentler as you came down from your high. His other hand reached to bring your face to look into his eyes. Removing his delicious fingers from your drenched core, he made you watch as he licked his fingers completely clean. You let out a shaky breath, sure you must be a sight with your pupils fully blown. 

“As informative as this book seems to be on the subject, I am thoroughly disappointed with the lack of specifics”, he began, standing up from his seat. He straightened his robes, hiding his own excitement in the folds. “If you wish to learn more about Grindelwald and Dumbledore, I can think of a specific book in the restricted section that you might find more enlightening. Would you care to join me?” He offered, though his eyes let you know you didn’t have a choice. 

You simply nodded and joined him as he led you through the stacks to the infamous restricted section. Madame Pince was putting some books away when she caught Professor Hiddleston’s eyes, before looking away. As long as you were with a Professor, the restricted section was available to you. 

Tom brought you to the farest corner the section offered that was away from prying eyes and shoved you against the stacks. He took your face in his hands and kissed you hungrily, devouring your mouth while you just held on for dear life. The shelves weren’t the most comfortable thing to be pressed up against, but it was enticing to have the Professor pressed up against your body immovably. 

His hands moved to grasp your bottom and pick you up. You placed your legs around his waist, pressing up against the hardness poking at your center. He let out a quiet growl before capturing your lips once more. 

Your whole body was experiencing that fire again, and it was all you could do to keep yourself from making moans that would surely get the two of you caught. So much for spending your time studying tonight. He pulled you close, shifting his robes out of the way to take himself out and press against your clothed entrance. He was breathing hard, making you thankful for your quietness to recognize the effect you had on him.

“Can you be quiet for me darling?” He whispered so quietly you weren’t sure he actually said anything. You nodded at him, making him smile at you. “There’s my girl”, he answered before pushing your underwear out of the way again to open your entrance up to him.

He captured your lips again as he pressed inside of you. There was a part of you that wished it would be easier on your body when you had sex again, but it was still deliciously painful. You were thankful for his lips pressed against yours to keep you from crying out. He used the shelf behind you to brace against as he continued to enter you until you were filled to the brim and every beautiful inch was surrounded by your wet quim. 

He released your lips to look into your face, making sure you are ok. Looking into his face and realizing the strain he experienced as he kept himself from fucking you immediately and allowed your body to adjust, did an astounding amount of good for your ego. He wasn’t the kind of lover to show weakness, but as a bead of sweat beaded on his forehead, you saw the difficulty that lay beneath. You smiled at him, cueing him to move. 

He took a deep breath and pulled out, only to slam back inside of you hard enough to steal the breath from your lungs. Your hands clung in his hair and kneaded his shoulders. He was so beautiful. As he thrust into you at a punishing speed, but you found yourself completely lost in his face. You felt almost like you weren’t in your own body as you watched him, truly unable to believe that a god this beautiful could possibly be here in the library and screwing you with all the passion he contained. He needed you as much as you needed him. And that was completely ridiculous to you. 

Tom began hitting that spot deep inside of you hard and you had to bite your lip to keep from crying out. Out of nowhere, you felt your second orgasm washing over you like an avalanche. It started off so slowly, you barely noticed it was happening, but continued to build and build until it crushed every thought in its path. 

He must of have been sent over his own edge as your walls clenched around him when you felt a warmth seep in you and his teeth biting into your shoulder in an attempt to keep himself quiet as well. All you heard was a soft growl, only heard by your own ears. You stroked his hair as he emptied himself inside of you, soothing him in his release. 

It was an impossible intimate moment, without it ever meaning to be. You were supposed to be just a sex partner, a wild affair. But this moment meant so much more to you. Even if you were to leave him and the school by the end of the year without promise of ever seeing him again, this moment would be the first time you ever thought you might be in love. 

He pulled out of you after a moment of catching his breath, his seed dripping out of you. You heard him curse at the realization of his mistake, before setting you down and casting a spell to clean the both of you up. He was meticulous and gentle, making sure you were ok and put together before kissing your forehead softly. That was enough to make your head almost melt. 

“I’m sorry”, he whispered. “I hadn’t planned on such a rendezvous, I just saw you sitting there surrounded by those books and I just had to have you, darling. Please forgive me for my recklessness”. 

“Never”, you said with a mischievous grin. “You’ll just have to find some way to earn my forgiveness”, you continued with mock seriousness.

He smiled down at you, unconsciously making you feel small. “I can think of a few things that might sway you”, he answered with a wink. 

“We’ll see about that”, you said nonchalantly.

He let out a small chuckle. “Well, one things for sure, we cannot only see each other once a week. I can’t go 7 days without my hands being on that enticing body of yours, darling”. 

“I’d be happy to oblige, Professor”


	9. Unleashing Your Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm facing a dilemma. I started writing this fic with the simple purpose of writing a teacher/student relationship with all of its drama and kinkiness. But then the writer in me has to take it further and deeper. So expect some pretty interesting story lines, or at least I hope you will all find them interesting.
> 
> As always, feedback is loved and appreciated. so keep me updated on how you guys are enjoying some of the changes!

After a late night of hurriedly finishing your homework assignment, it was easy to say you were a bit worn out the next morning at breakfast. The sweet highs you were experiencing had a way of making your whole body feel like it had just finished a week’s worth of daily 5 hour quidditch practices. Which was nice, but seriously, you felt extremely drained. 

Lizzie was beginning to notice the difference in your behavior, but you told her you were just stressed about your N.E.W.T.S., which she was beginning to freak out about as well. You were successfully avoiding Delven lately, but you knew you were eventually going to have to face him. Maybe you should ask Tom what you should do. You shook your head, deciding that he might find it irritating for you to ask something like that.

Breakfast was going by without a hitch until Headmistress McGonagall approached your table on her way to the head table, stopping right by your side. You practically had a heart attack as she caught your attention with a simple cough. 

“Miss (Y/L/N)”, she began when she saw your were paying attention. “I would like you to meet me in my office after you finish your breakfast. There’s a private matter I would like to speak with you about”, she finished. 

You managed a ‘yes, Ma’am’ before she walked away with a smile. Breathing was becoming exceptionally difficult as your anxiety went through the roof. You looked over to where Tom was sitting at the head table, desperate to know what you were supposed to do. How did she find out?! Fuck, you thought. This was it. It was all you could do to not start hyperventilating right there. 

Tom was sitting there beautifully, just like he did every morning. He was smiling and thoroughly enjoying a conversation he was having with Professor Sprout. ‘Please look at me!’ you thought as loud as you could, like it would do anything. It wasn’t like he was intentionally avoiding your gaze, just like he wasn’t aware of how much you needed him to look at you. 

“(Y/N)?” Lizzie called out, noticing your white knuckles and your erratic breathing. You looked down at your place, desperately trying to focus on something. Your eggs and sausage stared back at you unhelpfully. Your heart pounded in your ears like a drum. Black spots began over taking your vision, but you couldn’t control it. You were about to lose everything you’d ever known and what scared you most was losing Tom. 

Lizzie began shaking you and you felt yourself almost come out of your body for a moment. You looked back over at the table to see if Tom would finally look at you, even if for one last gaze and you were stunned to see almost every plate in the room was flying. The Great Hall was filled with commotion as people were trying to discover why their breakfast was now flying above their heads. And Tom finally looked towards you with a mixture of curiosity and worry. The minute he saw your barely contained anxiety attack, he subtly mouthed a silent spell and your mind was suddenly drawn back to that moment in the library with him. The closeness and the intimacy of the moment washed over you as if you were experiencing it for the first time. 

In seconds, you found yourself calming, your breath coming back to a normal pace and your heart slow. You could almost feel his lips against your forehead, like a memory, except you couldn’t remember when he did that. The Professor had mentioned some skill with Legilimency, but you had no idea he could create moments like this in your mind. 

You came back to yourself to find the commotion somewhat settled as every plate resumed it’s normal place. There would be gossip and plenty of ideas, but the only people who seemed to have noticed your emotional response was Tom and Lizzie. You’d try to make yourself believe you hadn’t caused it, but there was a small voice in your head that said otherwise. It wasn’t like you hadn’t done wandless magic before, but it had never been that powerful before. 

“Are you ok?” Lizzie asked, her features consumed with worry. You felt a pang of guilt that you couldn’t tell her what really was wrong. She cared so much about you and you were lying to her. 

You smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, Liz. I’m fine. I just got freaked for a second. It’s not every day the Headmistress calls you to her office for a private chat”.

“What do you think she wants to talk to you about? Probably wants to give you an award or something for being so freaking amazing at everything”, she asked and answered with a roll of her eyes. “Oh wait, like you deserve it or something, except she doesn’t like Slytherins. So she’s probably just going to warn you to keep your hands out of the dark arts or something ridiculous like that”, she rambled. 

You chuckled a little, glad the lightheaded feeling was slipping away. “You know I don’t want an award anyways. Let’s just hope she doesn’t chalk me up to the new Dark Wizard of this generation because of her paranoia”. 

The conversation continued light heartedly, but you snuck a glance back at your professor. Apparently you both had some powers you were keeping from each other. But it might not matter in the end. You could never have the chance to ask him about it. 

He met your gaze unwaveringly. The curiosity was still there, but his eyes were kind and reassuring, as if he knew something you didn’t and you had no reason to worry. That bothered you more than you could say, but it kept your anxiety at bay. If he wasn’t scared then you probably had no reason to be. 

  
  
  


About twenty minutes later, you were knocking on the door to the Headmistress’ office. The door opened almost immediately and you entered the room. It had changed quite a bit since Dumbledore was the Headmaster of Hogwarts. McGonagall kept her office space much cleaner, much neater. It reflected more of her interests and less of chaos Dumbledore exuded on a consistent basis. Perhaps that was the difference between learned skill and born genius. 

“Ah, Miss (Y/L/N)”, Professor McGonagall greeted as you walked in. “Please come sit down. I won’t keep you long, but I have informed Professor Flitwick that you may be late to his class”.

You gingerly walked up to the chairs sitting opposite of her desk. Your hands folded in your lap to keep them from shaking or from letting you bite at your nails, you tried to look less guilty and afraid as you felt. 

McGonagall watched you do all this and did not begin again until you had given her your full attention. “Now, I was presented with a rather intriguing idea at the end of last term to put in place assistants for teachers, a way to help take the load off Professors and to be leaders that younger students may reach out to outside of their own houses. As much as I encourage House strength of family, it can cause some students to be very excluded if they can’t connect with those in their house. Thus to try to combat this, I’m placing the  two best in each class to take this position. There would be responsibilities, much like being a prefect or a Head student. It would also give those put in this position the experience in teaching, much like an apprentice and would help give an extra push in finding jobs as they left Hogwarts for the rest of their lives”.

She opened up your transcripts in front of her. “You have excelled in almost every class you’ve been part of over the years you have spent at Hogwarts. But with your specific interest in fighting the dark arts, I thought the best class to place you with would be alongside Professor Hiddleston. I wanted to ask your preference on the subject if there might be a different class you wanted this chance with”, she finished, looking up at you with those grey eyes of hers, making you feel uncomfortable and somewhat overwhelmed.

“I’m not sure what to say, Professor”, you began, kind of shocked by everything. 

“Miss (Y/L/N), I’m coming to you like this because of your outstanding record. I have already spoken with the other assistants as a whole, but I wished to tell you this on a more one on one basis. You have been one of the most talented students Hogwarts has had the pleasure of teaching and you’ve never created trouble for yourself, despite your house. The school and myself personally are very excited to see what you would choose to make of yourself in our world and how you will impact it. How can I help you reach that potential?” She complimented unemotionally. It seemed she genuinely didn’t know what to do with you, like most didn’t. There was a part of you that wanted to lash out about her favoritism and her choices of head boy and girl. You’d made prefect naturally, but if you were really such a great student, why choose a somewhat intelligent Gryffindor for Head girl? But you weren’t the type to keep grudges. What was the point of being angry at something that would never change?

“I appreciate the interest in my well being, Professor. My choice will always remain with Defense Against the Dark Arts, simply because it has been my passion since the war ended. If there is any way I can help other students protect themselves from these horrors, I would gladly take part in it”, you answered with an air of finality. That was the truth. Even if Tom wasn’t the Professor, you’d have still made this decision. 

Professor McGonagall studied you closely before beginning again. “With that statement, I must admit I’m curious as to why you requested a transfer from the class in the first place? What caused you to make this decision? I hope you find Professor Hiddleston’s teaching to be competent enough for your learning, otherwise I’d be highly disappointed in hearing he wasn’t all we hoped him to be”. 

“No, nothing like that”, you quickly assured. “I had a moment of uncharacteristic fear and self doubt. I didn’t know if I’d be able to pass my N.E.W.T.S. and that I’d have to find a new career because I just wasn’t up to the job. Professor Hiddleston talked to me and convinced me that I was just feeling the normal fear most seventh years face”. Now that was a lie, but you hoped it sounded convincing enough to her. 

Professor Mcgonagall simply nodded, appearing mollified. “I’m pleased to hear you came around. Now, you will be working with Delven Reese, another promising student. Professor Hiddleston will set up times to meet with the both of you and discuss what assisting him will look like”. She stood, gesturing you to do the same. “I hope the best for you, Miss (Y/L/N). I believe you will make this school proud”. 

You smiled at her and left the office, your whole body jittery and on high nerve from the meeting. 

  
  


The rest of your day seemed to just drift on by as you looked forward to when your classes would be over so you could go talk to your Professor alone. He had classes most of the day as well, working with third and fourth years today, but as dinner time approached, you knew he would finally have a free moment. 

It eventually hit you that you could no longer avoid Delven since you would be working with him pretty consistently now. You’d have to tell him something, though your options were severely limited. Maybe you could tell him you were in a relationship already, though that could make him suspicious. You could probably get away with something like you were too focused on your career right now, but he would be around for a long time, since you would be working together outside of Hogwarts. 

Whatever your thoughts, you found yourself standing in front of Tom’s office, feeling an unsurety you hadn’t experienced before. It wasn’t a nervousness, but more confused than anything. Unsure of what the future holds, unsure of your feelings for this wonderful professor of yours, unsure of his feelings for you. Unsure of what to do and unsure of when you should do them. 

With a heaving sigh, you opened the door and walked in. Tom sat there in his chair, looking exhausted and ruffled from a long day of teaching. His blue eyes slowly drew a line up your body until he met your gaze clouded emotion, much like your eyes probably appeared to him. His curls were strewn here and there and his five o'clock shadow was coming in nicely, giving him a rough look that sent pangs of desire through you. 

“I was wondering when you were going to stop by, darling”, he began, his voice resembling his appearance. 

You didn’t bother responding, just walked up to his side and practically fell in his arms. Honestly, you didn’t know what came over you, just that you needed to be close to him. Those long arms hesitantly wrapped around your body and pulled you close, allowing you to relax into him even more. He stroked your hair gently, soothing you in the only ways he knew how. 

Time passed, though there was no way to tell how much, allowing the two of you to enjoy it without the need for conversation. There were no expectations and no concerns, soothing your mind and body after a long day of panicking. He just held you like you mattered a great deal to him. Maybe you were getting in too deep emotionally. Maybe this relationship, if you could call it that, would go up in flames, but you couldn’t stop yourself no matter how hard you tried.

After a moment, you pulled away just enough to look into his eyes. Those piercing, blue orbs seemed to stare into your soul. Try as you might to focus on the moment itself, you found your body instantly responding to him.

“What was that today?” You began, startling you both out of your silence.

There was a passing hint of regret in his face before he recovered and answered. “I saw you were on the verge of having a panic attack and I did the only thing I knew to do. You allowed me into your mind and I was able to bring some ease to the situation, I hope”, he explained.

“I didn’t know you were capable of that. When you said you could do some Legilimency, I wasn’t aware that you meant that”.

He shrugged. “When you share the same power as Voldemort, you tend to keep it to yourself. Besides, I’m really not that powerful. I have to have a sincere connection with a person before their mind becomes available to me”. 

“Does that mean you can read my mind now?” You asked curiously and a little worried. There was something reassuring about having your own mind to yourself. 

He smiled a little, trying to be helpful you guessed. “No, that’s not necessarily how it works. I can feel the stronger of your emotions, but as a rule, I’m only able to insert thoughts or see certain memories when I focus”. 

Your only answer was a small nod. It was understandable why he would be uncomfortable telling people about what he was capable of. It’s an eerie feeling, like being watched. 

“What about you, darling? Have anything to share about the fair bit of wandless magic that occurred today?” He pressed gently. There was nothing accusatory about his tone, speaking just like he were discussing the weather instead of a painful experience.

You looked down at your hands, where they sat curled in your lap which happened to be directly on top of his. “I’m not sure what happened today. I’ve had strong emotions before, but it’s never resulted in that extreme of an outburst”, you explained, somewhat shamefully. 

He used his index finger to lift your face towards his. There was only kindness in his eyes. “I know you never intended for it to happen, but I don’t think you realize the power you hold. This showed you how powerful you actually are and what you are capable of. I’d like to help show you the wonders of wandless magic and how to control it if you’d let me”, he offered.

“Like what? What good could come of this inability to keep myself from hurting others or causing mayhem?” You argued, tears watering your vision. If only extreme anger and extreme fear would trigger it, how could any good come out of it? That’s the basic definition of dark magic, taking all the negative emotions and using them to create powerful magic.

Tom just leaned in close and kissed you. He kissed you hard and passionately, with a desperate hunger that swept you off your feet and into cloud nine almost immediately. You clung to him, surprised, but thoroughly enjoying the feel of his mouth devouring yours. His tongue explored your mouth and teased your senses of what was to come. 

Those arms that had been holding you gently now pressed you close against his body. Your whole body was curled against his, fitting into him like a glove. All worries and concern left your mind as you got lost in the moment. A surge of heat swept through your body like a tidal wave, burning every nerve and muscle on its way through and you could feel it exuding from every pore and crevice like a phoenix bursting into flames.

Tom released you, much to your disappointment, and looked around him in a state of awe. “Look, darling. Look at what you are capable of”, he whispered, his voice gruff with lust and surprise.

It took more willpower than you wanted to muster to look away from his face, but when you did, you were met with an impossible sight. Every candle in the room that had been unlit was now burning brightly, the fireplace was roaring with no logs to burn, and the chair you were both sitting on had lifted off the ground by a few meters, hovering above the room with ease. The very air seemed filled with your power, like an electric current flowing through every molecule and atom. 

Tom turned your face towards his once more, looking at you with such awe like you were the rarest gem in the world. Your stomach clenched dangerously as you saw the emotion he held. Your face became wet with tears you weren’t even aware were falling, the intimacy of the moment pushing through your insecurities to see the beauty inside of you. 

“Never”, he began, almost sternly. “Never believe this gift you have is evil. It is an extension of yourself. And there is nothing about you that isn’t beautiful”. 

Your lips met his this time, kissing him gently and sweetly, trying to say those words you couldn’t quite muster up the courage to say. He wrapped one of his large hands around your neck to cradle you closer. The passion was there in undertones, but it was like the difference between making love and having sex. While they were basically the same actions, making love touched your heart in ways sex would always fall short. 

Nothing more would happen that night physically, mostly because you realized you were about to be out past your curfew, but you knew that that single moment would never leave you as long as you lived. The moment where you first saw yourself through the eyes of someone who saw you as beautiful. 


	10. A New Shade of Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so back to some kinky stuff ;) As much as I want to create an intricate story, I can't help myself from writing some great smut chapters. Sorry if that disappoints anyone, but I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> As always, feedback is loved and appreciated!

The next morning came much too quickly for you. Apparently, all this wandless magic wasn’t designed to be done at once, otherwise leaving the user physically drained. Hopefully Tom could teach you the ropes and how to control it soon before you hurt someone or die of complete exhaustion. 

You arrived early, waiting patiently in front of DADA classroom. The set upon agreement was that you would wait to enter until Delven came in with you, for the sake of appearances. Of course that meant you’d have to have that conversation you’d been avoiding first thing in the morning, which was probably the worst way to start your day off.

It was another five minutes before you saw Delven running towards you, almost late, but just close enough to make it. He stopped immediately when he saw you standing there, clearly not informed you’d be working together. At least he hadn’t had time to prepare an onslaught of questions.

“Hey, Delven”, you greeted a little reluctantly. “Looks like we’ll be working together for the Professor.  Are you ready for this?” Starting the conversation was a way to control the direction it went, so you took the opportunity as quickly as possible.

“Oh, hey!” He greeted with a toothy grin. “I didn’t know you were the other assistant! What a coincidence!!” 

His excitement was palpable, making you feel a bit guilty you couldn’t enjoy the innocence he offered. “Yeah, well, they wanted the best in this class, so thus I’m here. The real question is why were you chosen?” You teased him. 

He laughed heartily at that. “I guess they wanted to have the best and worst candidates to teach students what not to do as well”, Delven answered, continuing the joke with ease. 

“Naturally, you’d want to show students what perfect wandmanship looks like instead of waving a stick around clumsily, hoping for results, and how both affect a wizard’s ability to do the simplest of spells”, You pressed a little farther, watching his reactions to see if you’d gone too far. “Don’t want another Lockhart on our hands, do we?”

His smile didn’t falter for the slightest, just chuckled jovially. You could almost imagine him as an old man, resembling Santa Claus more than a wise old wizard. “Certainly not! If I can help keep another oaf like that from being a Hogwarts Alum, I’d look like a complete fool every day in front of the whole school! No one wants a repeat of that man”. 

That earned a small laugh from you. God, you needed a friend who could make you laugh over stupid stuff. Not that you’d ever admit that, but it was genuinely nice to spend time with someone who brought out the fun in life. 

At that moment, the classroom door opened rather suddenly, cutting your laugh off almost immediately. Tom stood in the doorway, peering at the two of you with a dark look, taking in the ease of your stance and the smile on your face. He didn’t look very happy. 

“If you two would please join me instead of standing out here and wasting both of our times”, His beautiful voice practically commanded with a coldness you weren’t accustomed to. 

You ducked your head in shame. How could he go from the kind man who held you last night to this? 

“Sorry, Professor”, Delven responded quickly, his voice showing no hint of shame. “I just caught up talking about Hogwarts Alumni”. He winked at you as he said that, but it wasn’t missed by Tom. You glanced at him and saw his jaw clench in anger. It would be a lie to say you weren’t a bit afraid, but damn, that jaw clench made you want to suck on his beautiful neck until he moaned. Or maybe suck elsewhere as he lost all control.

“Talk on your own time, Mr. Reece. Your first class as teaching assistants is this afternoon and neither of you are prepared. Don’t make me regret giving you both this opportunity”, Tom lectured, his tone full of authority and continuously cold, despite the fire burning in his eyes. 

Without another word, he turned around and returned back in the classroom, clearly expecting you both to follow. Delven didn’t bother responding, finally looking a little sheepish, but still having that dorky smile of his plastered all over his face. 

Two seats in the far right of the first row pulled out magically, signaling for you and Delven to sit in them. You prepared yourself immediately, taking out your parchment and quill. Tom waited patiently until the both of you were prepared, his presence sending your whole body into shivers. Despite your attempts, you could only think about him sliding in you furiously. You subconsciously pressed your thighs together, trying to release some of the pressure there. 

“Now, we will meet every morning before classes for the day, which means I expect you both to be here by 7:45 to go over the curriculum for this specific class. For first through third years, we are focussing on a curriculum that focuses on dark creatures, specifically how to defend yourself from them. For today’s classes, we are introducing Grindylows for the first time in person, not just as a picture in a book. They’ve already written essays and studied out the basic defenses, but this will be the first practical application of this information”, he explained in detail, launching into everything. You wrote a few notes down, keeping up with the information he provided. 

“Now, it’s extremely rare for students to immediately master the spells, so the primary objective for you two is to simply keep them safe. Give them the ability to experiment, but they shouldn’t be injured or endangered in any way. I have three grindylows for the purpose of today and I expect to have three at the end of today’s classes. Please be here by 9:30 for the Gryffindor/Slytherin class, and 2:15 for the Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff class”. He finished fully. Tom grabbed two books from his table and dropped them in front of the both of you. It was The Essential Defense Against the Dark Arts book for first year students. 

“We are on page 264 so if you could both please catch up on the information here instead of relying on your memory from 6 years ago”, Tom ended before leaving the classroom to his office, not quite fully shutting the door behind him. 

You opened the book up immediately, studying as quickly as possible. As impeccable as your memory was, it was still missing some details that made you thankful for the refresher. You jotted down a few more notes before preparing to leave, your stomach rumbling with hunger. Delven was clearly trying to hurry so he could leave with you, but he didn’t seem to be quite fast enough. You practically sprinted out of the classroom, avoiding both your worries about the change in your Professor and the impossible conversation you were going to have to have eventually. 

Your worst quality would always be procrastination.

  
  
  


At 9:25, you were promptly in your designated seat and fully prepared for your work. Tom hadn’t come out of his office yet, so it took a great deal of self control not to run up and get a quickie in. Probably not a good idea. At least that’s what you had to keep telling yourself. 

That’s when you had a wicked idea. This would be the first real class you were in with him as he played Professor. Maybe you should make things a little interesting. 

You waved your wand silently and almost gasped as you felt air hit your unclothed pussy. There was always the possibility that he wouldn’t even notice, but there was a certain thrill to the possibility that he might see something in mid lecture and have to stop to find his thoughts in front of everyone.

Almost as soon as you put your wand down, Delven walked into the classroom with all the grace of an overweight rhinoceros. A wave of disappointment hit you a little harder than you’d want to admit. Even a moment alone with Tom would have been nice. But life just wasn’t fair.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Delven greeted for the second time today. “I’ve been looking for you”.

You absentmindedly flipped through the pages of a book, trying to look preoccupied. “Why is that?” You asked as nonchalantly as possible.

“I wanted to talk to you about that bet we made earlier this year. I know I messed up by abandoning you to go on the trip by yourself, but I want to make it up to you”, he pleaded.

You exhaled loudly, wishing for an escape. “Delven, there is no need. I enjoyed myself well enough with you bailing on me, I’d rather not have a repeat”, you answered cooly. 

“What if I promised to come this time, even if I throw up all over everything, just to show you how much this means to me?” 

“That’s a little dramatic don’t you think?” You responded, shutting him down. “I doubt vomit would make the trip any better than the last”.

First years were beginning to trickle in and Tom ventured out of his office with his tank of Grindylows. The tank levitated all the way to the stand that sat in front of the class, the murky waters obscuring the grindylows almost completely, just hints of tentacles hitting the glass could be seen. 

Delven didn’t bring it up again as class started. You allowed yourself to be distracted by Tom’s beautiful voice as he turned into the untouchable Professor everyone adored. He taught with such a brilliance and warmth that captivated even the most easily bored children. If every Hogwarts Professor taught like him, graduates would be sure to have some of the highest marks in the wizarding world. 

Students were split into groups of three and you and Delven stood by supervising, giving instructions whenever necessary. Just listening to Tom speak for a little while had you pretty wet, making walking a little sticky, but it was still like a promiscuous secret you had no intention of sharing. 

You were in the middle of showing the correct wand movements for the Revulsion Spell, a great defense under water when facing Grindylows, when Delven came to stand next to you. He was observing your teaching, maybe critiquing it. You decided to ignore him, watching the groups with a close eye instead.

“(y/n)”, he said just under his breath. You continued to ignore him, adjust the height of a Slytherin first year’s arm. “I’m not trying to get you to go out with me just because of the bet. I really want to tell you the truth if you’d let me”, he pleaded just under his breath. 

“Now isn’t the greatest time, Delven”, was your only response. You moved on to the next student, helping them with the pronunciation of a spell. 

Instead of leaving to do his job on another group, he persisted. Heat was growing in your cheeks as he continued to press closer to you. “I don’t care. I need to tell you. The truth is I’ve liked you for years and I just got enough courage to say something about it. Please, just give me a chance and I just know I could make you happy”, Delven begged, giving you the best puppy dog eyes you’d ever seen. 

You were completely dumbstruck. It wasn’t like you didn’t know he liked you, but for seven years?! How anyone could like you for that long made very little sense to you. You looked up at him and realized he was less than a few inches away from you, the tension clear in his body language. Those eyes almost made you give in immediately. 

“Mr. Reece!” The firm voice behind your reason why you couldn’t give in, no matter how much pity you had, spoke up above the room, bringing everyone’s attention to the two of you. Delven was smart enough to take a step away from you when he caught the look in the Professor’s eyes. “I know this is your first day, but new rule for my teaching assistants: There will be no flirting and distracting from your job. Now am I understood?” Tom ordered. There was enough menace behind his tone that you found yourself flinching.

Delven was smart enough to lower his head and mumble an apology. The class resumed with a small chatter of gossip from the students. No doubt it would reach the ears of most of the school that Professor Hiddleston gave Delven Reece a talking to in front of the entire class. And you’d probably be hearing about it for much longer than you’d prefer. 

Truthfully, you were shaken by the way Tom looked at you. He was furious, not just at Delven, but also at you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to shake him off or keep him from going on, but he wouldn’t stop. Yet Tom looked at you like you instigated the whole thing. What were you, some seductress who was intent on breaking hearts over a whim? It hurt you that he would see you that way. 

Thankfully, the rest of the class went by very quickly and Professor Hiddleston dismissed everyone, except you. To all the students, it might look like he would talk to you about not encouraging Delven in his class, or whatever. But you were shaking, worried and turned on fully. Those dark eyes never left your figure as finally everyone left, including a reluctant Delven who mouthed a sorry before leaving with everyone else.

The silence between the two of you grew immensely, sending your anxiety through the roof. Tom waved his wand, locking the door and warding it. The movement of his hand let you avoid his eyes for a while longer, but they were too hypnotic to ignore their call for too long. He stood there in front of you with his arms crossed over his wide chest. He looked like a god of vengeance.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)”, He began so formally your chest ached. “It appears you are hoping for a change in the agreement we set. You have the choice to put this affair away at any time, but I’d hoped you had enough respect for yourself and me that you would talk to me before throwing yourself at your nearby classmates”. 

You were shocked and a bit offended. He was jabbing on purpose and it pissed you off on so many levels. “I’m sorry,  **_Professor_ ** , but I have no clue what you are talking about”, you answered with a bit of very obvious fury. You crossed your arms over your chest, mimicking his stance in your seat. 

“Don’t play coy with me. Didn’t I say this was exclusive, that I would not share you with anyone? Did you honestly think you could hide a relationship with Mr. Reece without me noticing, like I’m some imbecile? I can tell you that you were very sadly mistaken in that belief”, He pressed on, his own fury bleeding through the lines of his thinly held control.

“I’m not trying to hide anything!” You raised your voice a little louder. “There’s nothing going on between Delven and I! He wants to go out with me, but I keep telling him I don’t have any interest in him! It’s not my fault he keeps pressing”, you defended yourself.

He scoffed a little at that, but his gaze softened a bit. “I highly doubt that. I saw how close you let him to you. How long has this relationship been going on for? Am I just convenient for you, a hot professor you’ll tell your friends you fucked just for fun?” 

That was too much for you. You stood up and walked a little towards him, your temper absolutely exploding. “For the last time, there’s nothing going on between Delven and I. And you think this affair is convenient? That I could ever tell anyone without humiliation? There is no bragging for me, or talking to my best friend about you, whether it be about how much I like you inside of me, or about how much I fucking love you!” You snapped. As soon as the words escaped your lips, you wished you could take them back. He looked about as if you had slapped him. Tears escaped your eyes and you couldn’t bare to look at him, turning your back to him as you sobbed. “I can’t even expect you to feel the same way because I’m just a child to you. And you could lose your job, your reputation, everything over some impossible feelings. So don’t fucking tell me that I wanted anyone else because I’ve never wanted anyone more in my life”. 

Instead of another sassy answer, your ears were met with complete silence. You sobbed harder, unable to keep it in. It wasn’t fair that this kind of anger always made you cry like some weakling. 

After a moment, hands fell on your shoulders, gently turning you towards him. You pressed your face into his chest and let him hold you for a little while. He soothed you just like he had last night. 

“Oh Darling”, he whispered, kissing the top of your head softly. “I wish I could give you everything you deserve. I was jealous of Delven because you wouldn’t have to hide him from the world and he could show you off like the prize you are. That’s all I want for you. But this love isn’t fair to you. Me owning you isn’t fair. All I can hope to do is to make you happy until you realize you don’t want this anymore”. He pushed away just enough to look into your eyes. Those brilliant blues touched your heart with the same impossibleness of this relationship you felt. 

“Then make me happy, Tom. There’s nothing I want more in this world than what you can offer me”. You whispered up at him. He brushed your tears away before pressing his lips against yours gently. You clung to him, deepening the kiss with the feelings you couldn’t control. Hopefully nothing would catch fire this time. 

Tom moaned against your lips, pressing your body against his, his excitement pressing against your stomach obviously. He picked you up, letting you wrap your feet around his waist and ground him into your unclothed crotch. He stopped kissing you almost immediately, giving you a look of surprise as he sat you down on one of the desks and spread your legs. 

The groan that met your ears was pure bliss as he took in you completely bare before him and dripping wet. He pulled the edges of your skirt up to your waist and got the complete view, drawing his fingers across your lips to gather the wetness residing there.

“Like what you see?” You asked coyly. He looked up to you with dark eyes, his pupils completely blown out by lust. Without giving a response, he answered by attacking you furiously, his tongue finding your clit almost immediately, sending you moaning and shrieking.

He ate you out with the same skill he had in everything. How one man could be so perfect at everything was truly not fair to the rest of the male populace. A single finger found its way inside of you as his tongue didn’t let up its onslaught. It was mere moments before you found yourself exploding in one of the greatest orgasms you’d ever had, screaming out his name in the empty classroom.

You hadn’t recovered when you felt one of your legs being pulled up around his shoulder, pulling your hips just barely off the table to give him leverage. He remembered to do the spell first you noticed as the strange green glow encompassed his beautiful member just as he began to press inside of you. 

The thought of ever having to find another man terrified you. Not many men were this large and you were absolutely ruined for any other size, any other shape, hell, any other person. He fucked you perfectly, finding every spot inside of you with every thrust. You found yourself orgasming quickly, his hips meeting yours over and over in perfect synchronization. 

He was losing it as well, but he reached between your bodies and flicked your clit repeatedly. “Who’s are you? Tell me who you belong to!” He ordered in the sexiest voice you’d ever heard in your life. 

“I’m yours, Professor!” You moaned and together you found your release in a wonderful cacophony of moans and growls.


	11. Trust Works Both Ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I've had some major writer's block, but I'm getting back in the game now. I wanted to make this as realistic as possible with the reader questioning things like anyone would in this situation. Trusting someone you barely know like this is nearly impossible and it just seemed too easy in the beginning. Time will move a little faster because I have an actual story to get to and writing a day by day basis is overwhelming!
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated and loved!

After a great fucking session with your beloved professor, you knew it was time to tell Delven the truth. As hot as jealous Tom was, there was enough drama and secrecy going on. If you could lessen it even a little, it would be worth it. You were starting to get consistent headaches from the insanity of it all. 

Lunch time was its usual bustling around as students finally found their energy for the day, so you had to steer through crowds of students who were determined to stand in the most inconvenient places. Instead of falling in your regular seat like every other day, you made your way to Hufflepuff’s table and gracefully slid in next to Delven. The bite he had of his apple slipped from his lips and onto his plate as he stared at you in awe. 

“Hey Delven”, you greeted a little coolly. His fellow Hufflepuffs had a mixture of reactions from shock to curiosity. You avoided their gaze and tried to focus on the task at hand. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

“Yeah, of course”, he mumbled a little, finding his courage. He took a quick gulp of his pumpkin juice to wash down what was in his mouth then gave you his complete attention.

You looked around you, the students who would normally be listening in were giving the both of you as much privacy as they could. Huh, you thought. Leave it to Hufflepuffs to actually be considerate. 

Starting with a deep breath, you began the conversation you’d been preparing for a while. “Delven, I wanted to talk to you about what you told me today during class”. Delven nodded, affirming his suspicions and appeared to be preparing himself. “I’ve got to admit, I was blown away by what you said. I didn’t know how to react. But I did some thinking and I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t give you what you want right now”, you concluded with an air of finality. 

Delven looked down at his plate, his face giving away some of his disappointment. Gosh, he read just like an open book. You decided to lessen the blow a little bit.

“When you think about it, we will be working together for years in the future. We’ll be friends and comrades against the dark forces, or whatever strange disturbance. What if we were to have a bad ending to our relationship when we have to work together for years? I’d rather try to be good friends for a while and maybe later explore the possibility of something more”, you rambled a bit with the wisest answer you had to offer. If it wasn’t for Tom, you’d still have given the same answer. It just made sense and it would help the two of you chase your dreams without being held back or competing. 

Delven looked up, seemingly pacified. “Yeah, that sounds reasonable. I’m sorry if I was just too over eager”, he apologized with a small smile.

“No need to be sorry”, you reassured with a small wave. “I could honestly use a good friend right now. It would be mean a lot to me if you’d take up the job”.

Delven held his hand out. You accepted without hesitating. “Absolutely. Friends is what I’m good at”. His grin was infectious and you found yourself smiling back before leaving to your seat to eat your own lunch. 

You looked over to Tom and was relieved to find him not angry. There was a hint of wariness as he sent a small glance your way before continuing his conversation with Professor Sprout, but not enough that it actually worried you. 

It hadn’t escaped your notice that he didn’t reciprocate your affections at least verbally. There was a part of you that wished you could have believed he felt the same way, but you weren’t that unintelligent. At one time, you’d prided yourself in your ability to not be swept up in emotions and foolishness like many of the girls your age, but here, in the middle of the most dangerous relationship you’ve ever been part of, your ability to be reasonable decided to fly out of the window.

He probably just liked fucking you. Maybe he was looking for someone to bring peace to his mind after the loss of his family. Like a balm that reached deep into that loneliness that consumed him. 

Or perhaps he was a predator. There was no promise that he wasn’t messing around with other pretty students, that you weren’t just one of many he played with. You hated not knowing the reasons. It always sent your mind spiraling into too many possibilities, each more horrible than the next. 

How had you let yourself fall head over heels, beyond all hope of returning, for a man you knew nothing about? You found yourself hanging on every touch, every word, like you were desperate for more. But he managed to keep his cool. You belonged to him, but he didn’t belong to you. No Slytherin would be so dumb, but here you were, throwing all of your ability to think at a man who would take full advantage of that trust. 

At least you could be honest with yourself. At least you knew what you were doing to yourself, whether or not you’d like the outcome. You weren’t oblivious to the possibilities and that allowed you to get a new level of control over your emotions. He may have your love and your body, but fuck it, you were going to fight for your trust. He’d have to actually earn that. 

  
  
  


Weeks passed since you made that realization, each becoming more stressed than the one before. Between preparing for your NEWTS, keeping up a secret relationship with your professor, and being a teacher’s assistant, you were swamped and stressed up to your eyeballs. The time between your rendezvous were becoming larger as classes with Tom actually focused on controlling your wandless magic and having to be more careful. That meant you couldn’t go to his office at random times or stay after classes. 

Truth be told, you appreciated the distance. Yes, your body would whine every time he was close and you couldn’t touch him, but you needed to keep him at arm’s length if you were going to keep your wits about you. Perhaps that was coming off as a cold shoulder, as it was clearly affecting Tom, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him close. The truth was too painful. 

You couldn’t get rid of the lonely feeling consuming you, though. It would sit in your chest like a stone and there were many days you felt like you might drown under the weight of it. Letting Tom in gave you the confidant you needed, but with your newfound distance, you were far away from everyone. Lizzie started to ask you if she did something to make you mad. Despite your assurance she hadn’t done a thing, it was clearly bothering her. 

You’d wake up in the middle of the night from dreams about Tom, finding tears streaming down your face. A house with children and his beautiful smile were too much for you to handle. So you were forced to let the tears flow and cursed your hormones for turning you into the very thing you used to scoff at: a girl, hopelessly in love. 

So after close to a month of keeping up this ruse of strength, you found yourself practically dragging yourself to Tom’s office for another class. The last one, when he’d tried to touch you, you’d deflected it by sucking him off until he came, then left without a single word. What you didn’t see was the look of pain and confusion that was on his face as he watched you leave his office. 

God, you really didn’t want to do this right now. You didn’t need another hour of attempting to focus on your magic that would leave you exhausted and frustrated by the end. But you were a Slytherin. You’d rather be tortured in silence than admit weakness.

“Oh my… Do you even try not to be hideous any more?” A high pitched voice insulted.

You looked up to see the face of your least favorite person on the planet. Jackie Pollup, Gryffindor 7th year, Head Girl, and well-known bully, stood there with her small entourage of some of the prettiest girls Hogwarts had enrolled. She’d been a bitch to you from day 1 of their first year and you’d gotten quite good at avoiding her. As she was chasing after some Charms master, you didn’t cross paths very much. Which was something you were very thankful for. 

You snorted with your best attempt at replicating Snape’s sneer. “Why don’t you worry more about sucking Professor Flitwick’s dick? You are going to need a pretty good mascara charm to keep it from running down your face while you choke on him”, you jabbed, hoping it would offend her enough to get her to leave you alone.

“At least my Professor actually pays attention to me. I’ve seen you in the Great Hall, staring at Professor Hiddleston like a bitch in heat. Too bad he’s not interested in Slytherin whores who’ve seen more wood than all quidditch players in the wizarding world”, she answered with her own sneer. Funny. Have sex with two people in 7 years, one no one knows about, and suddenly you are a whore. 

“At least I’ve kept my legs closed outside of my own house. From what I’ve heard, you could boast riding nearly every male within a 50 mile radius of Hogwarts after you fucked yourself through every eligible student”.

You felt it coming before you had a chance to react and suddenly you were flying through the air, to land on a stone wall. Anger surged through you as you felt your back cry out in pain. It’s one thing to have an insult war. It’s another thing to start a fight. Bring it the fuck on. 

All of her little group had their wands out now and they were sending volley after volley at you, but you managed to deflect a majority of their spells. They may be good in their respective areas, but they were fighting someone who’s soon to be profession would be combat magic. It was relatively easy to cast shield charms and keep their hailstorm of spells from hitting you. 

A new wave of power surged through you as you realized the strength you maintained. This was almost on the level of Dumbledore kind of power. And it felt exhilarating. Even as you waved their spells away from you without the slightest bit of effort, you could see the fear in their eyes. There was no way they were going to win. 

“(Y/L/N)!” A voice broke through your mind, grounding you once again. Immediately, your defensive spells fell, looking to the face of your Professor, who was once again staring at you in a bit of awe. The moment was quickly shattered as you got hit in the face with a stinging charm and fell to the ground in a heap. 

You barely registered a voice yelling and detention being given before sending them straight to Professor McGonagall’s office. Tom sent his patronus ahead of them so McGonagall would know what happened from his eyes, not from the lies the girls might tell her. You gingerly tried to touch your face, only to find that the right side of your face was swollen beyond recognition probably. 

“Oh darling”, Tom whispered softly, picking you up in his arms and carrying you the few steps to his classroom and into his office. The ease at which he carried you always amazed you, but the pain that hit your heart at the closeness you were experiencing was agonizing. You whimpered softly, less from the pain in your face and more from the abyss consuming your heart. 

He set you softly down in an unfamiliar couch and let you lay down on your back. Your left eye opened a little to take in where you were and realized you were inside his quarters. The elegant sofa you were laying in was clearly charmed to be even more comfortable than it was originally. Tom quickly began doing a few spells to reduce the swelling and heal your face. He must have studied some healing magic.

The pounding in your face slowly receded, and left a tingling feeling on your skin. “What happened, (Y/F/N)?” He asked softly, kneeling above you as he carefully looked after you without trying to cause you pain.

You shrugged nonchalantly, trying to look anywhere but at him. “Jackie was being her usual self and decided that ganging up on me was the smart decision. I was defending myself just fine until you stepped in and distracted me”, you accused with a small glare at him. 

“Are you saying she’s done stuff like this before?” Tom asked a little shocked. “How in the world was she allowed to become Head Girl with that kind of behavior?!”

“McGonagall has her favorites”, was the only answer you had to give.

You snuck a glimpse of his face when you heard a furious growl. He looked completely livid, like he was about to storm into Professor McGonagall's office and demand something be done. “I had hoped things had changed since Dumbledore, but clearly things haven’t changed enough”, he muttered through gritted teeth. 

He seemed to remember you were still laying there and the look on his face softened just a bit. “I don’t know if you saw what you were doing, darling, you were truly incredible. I’ve never seen wand work like that. In fact, it looked like you were using both wandless magic and your wand to create a symphony of defenses. I have genuinely never seen anything like it”, he complimented with a hint of awe.

“It kind of just happened”, you said in a guarded voice. It clearly didn’t escape his notice as a small frown marred his beautiful features. The fireplace became a more interesting distraction from his face, the flames licking up into the air in their own beautiful dance. 

A small sigh reached your ears and in your peripheral vision, you could see him running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Listen, I don’t have any idea what I’ve done to make you angry and I won’t know until you tell me. But is there anything I can do to fix things?” He pleaded with a hint of exasperation. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, you answered, closing yourself off completely. You had no interest in opening yourself up to him just to meet his own walls. 

“For a Slytherin, you really couldn’t lie to save you life, darling”.

You rolled your eyes. “If you want to know so bad, you could always read my mind, right?  So just go ahead why don’t you?” You dared. 

“I’ve already tried”, he answered back. “You’ve not been letting me in. It’s like trying to mind read a brick wall”.

“Sounds like a personal problem”, you deflected again. You felt a certain sense of pride that he couldn’t get in your mind when he wanted to. 

That seemed to make him snap and suddenly you were practically crushed as he kissed you ferociously. Your heart lurched in response and your body seemed to kick in with its natural reaction. His tongue completely dominated yours and instead of letting you have use of your hands, he pinned them above your head. Fire coursed through your veins and you were suddenly moaning for more. Of course your body wouldn’t cooperate with your strike. No, that would be too nice apparently. 

But instead of proceeding to fuck you, the way you wished he would, Tom loosened his hold and began to pull away. With the distraction from your emotions gone, the ache began to spread in your chest once again. He pulled away just enough to show you the want and desire in his eyes before kissing you softly once more and pulling away again. 

“As much as I’d love to teach your smart mouth a lesson, I have some business with Professor McGonagall that must be dealt with tonight”, you gulped a little at his threat, but you couldn’t deny you wanted it. He kissed your forehead once before standing. “I still want to make this right, darling. Please allow me to do so tonight. Sneak out tonight. I’m on rounds and there’s something I want to share with you, if you’ll trust me. Just for tonight”, he finished, looking a little hopeful that you’d accept. 

And with a deep sigh, you knew you’d always say yes. 


	12. Dessert is the Best Course of Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So sorry about the wait. I just started working full time again and it's depleted my ability to sit and write. I have plenty of time to think up stories, but no time to do anything with them!
> 
> As always, feedback is loved and appreciated!

It took some time, but you managed to get your feet back under you and headed quickly to your dorm room to get a little sleep before you did whatever Tom had planned. Most of your fellow students were out in their classes and finishing up for the day, so you got some well needed alone time. The echo of your footsteps had a disastrous effect on your troubled mind. You felt… lonely. Like all the love and friendship you’d ever known had been sucked out by a dementor, leaving a gaping hole in your being.

Your feet stumbled their own memorized path to your bed, where you promptly laid down and cried until you fell asleep. 

  
  


A sharp shove woke you up from your restless sleep. You startled, opening your eyes to see Lizzie standing above you with the most amused and proud look on her face. 

“Hey sleeping goddess, wake up!” She yelled a little at you, giving you a final shake. “We need to talk about what happened with Jackie. The whole school is talking about it!”

“Ugh,” you groaned before attempting to sit up. “Don’t remind me.”

“Remind you? There’s no escaping that now. With Jackie walking around with a new addition of horns and a tail, not to mention her two side chicks completely devoid of eyebrows or hair, the whole school either loves you or is scared of you!” 

Wait, did you really do that? In the flurry of the battle, you probably just didn’t notice the effect of your counter spells when they hit their target. “It’s about time they got to deserve,” you grumbled.

“Oh, they definitely did. But how the fuck did you fight all three of them at once?” She asked in a bit of awe.

You shrugged, not sure the answer would really help much. “I guess they were just as dumb as we thought they were.”

That earned you a good hearty laugh that had you smirking even through the throbbing your heart was determined to keep doing. Lizzie had a way of making you smile. A horrible wave of guilt washed over you as you thought about how much you were avoiding her. But still she stayed by your side. 

“Girl, someone needs to teach you that it’s perfectly fine to be proud of yourself once in awhile,” she teased, plopping down at the foot of the bed. Her blond curls haloed her hair with a soft bounce to accent her movements, resembling something close to some innocent angel if it wasn’t for the glint in her green eyes. 

You ran a finger through your own hair, sure it was pretty much everywhere after sleeping on it. “I’m personally just surprised that I haven’t been expelled yet. You’d think McGonagall would jump at the chance to get rid of me instead of her little pet student,” you sneered.

“Oh, that’s the best part! I’m surprised you hadn’t heard,” Lizzie answered excitedly. “Apparently, something went down between Professor Hiddleston and the Headmistress. She was forced to acknowledge what that bitch had done and it looks like Jackie is getting stripped of her title as Head Girl, if not completely expelled. I’m pretty sure we’re going to hear more about it tonight at dinner”.

Oh, sweet justice. That was going to feel so fucking good. “Well, I guess I can’t skip dinner tonight”, you said with a soft smile. 

“Not if I can help it,” she promised softly. Instead of leaving or moving, she decided in that moment to put a hand on your arm and really looked you straight in the eye. “In light of that victory, I want you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what it is you feel you can’t tell me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how hard it’s been for you lately, or that there’s something big weighing on you.”

You looked down at your lap as the tears threatened to fall. “Yeah, I know, Liz. Thanks,” you managed around a fucking bowling ball in your throat. 

“I mean, I don’t want to press, but is it a guy? Did some asshole break your heart?” 

“I guess you could say that,” you mumbled. Those tears started dripping traitorously down your face. 

You felt two arms reaching around you to hold you and immediately, you began sobbing as hard as you could. There was the open possibility you could tell her everything and with a start, you realized that she wouldn’t judge you. She’d probably never need to talk to you about it other than to make sure Tom was treating you alright. Maybe one day… but you couldn’t tell her this time.

So instead you cried and cried. The gaping hole in your chest spread until it seemed to absolutely consume you and it felt like something was sucking the poison out of a wound. It was both relieving and excruciating. But Liz soothed you through everything, giving you the ability to heal and take one more step to wholeness.

  
  


Dinner was certainly the spectacular affair. Headmistress McGonagall openly announced to everyone that Jackie was being forced to step down from her position as Head Girl due to bullying of other students, that if anything was to happen again, she would be expelled permanently, so no student should feel uncomfortable about coming to a teacher about any future bullying done. Practically the whole student body was cheering at the news besides a few Gryffindors who looked absolutely furious.

The best part was that Jackie had to stand in front of the whole school with horns and a pointy tail. You felt so much pride actually seeing your handiwork for the first time and accepted many high fives with all the enthusiasm you could muster. For a moment, your life was simple. A slytherin student who just had a fantastic victory against the school bully, a table full of friends, and everything to look forward to. You could choose this if you really wanted it. Tom wouldn’t force you to keep this secret with him if you wanted out. 

But there was never any choice for you. You knew that the moment you saw him walk into the Great Hall, the very second you caught the gaze of such enchanting eyes that called to you like a man with Veela blood. There was no denying the change he created just by existing. 

So you spent a lot of time after dinner trying to convince yourself to just stay in your dorm. Even as you put on some muggle makeup and a silky black dress all while the rest of the girls were in the common room, you told yourself you’d just go to sleep. Or when you hid under your blankets like you were already asleep when everyone came in to go to bed, telling yourself you were just going to actually sleep. 

Yet, there was no denying it any longer as you cast a few spells to make you invisible and to muffle any sound. Your heart pounded in your ears as you snuck through the common room and out the door. A part of you was screaming that you had absolutely lost your mind, but it wasn’t enough to keep you from leaving the dungeons to find Tom and hopefully not get caught. Filch’s cat seemed suspicious for a moment when you passed her, but your spells did a fantastic job of hiding you from even the most annoying cat on the planet. 

Finally, you found him in a second floor corridor. He walked around as if he wasn’t searching for you, looking completely calm and put together as always. A mischievous thought went through your mind as you considered scaring him in some way. Moving as cautiously as possible, you snuck behind him, exhaling right on his neck. 

Instead of the jump you were hoping for, Tom simply turned slowly, grabbed you by the back of the head and kissed you thoroughly. Your spells failed completely as all your thoughts left like a trail of stampeding toddlers without a specific destination. He smiled softly against your lips at the pout that was obvious on your face. He pulled away just enough to look at you in all of your pouting glory.

“If you want to sneak around regularly, darling, you may want to sneak up on someone who can’t recognize your body mist”, Tom teased softly while a distracting hand weaved its way through your hair.

You huffed, put out. “You could have at least pretended”.

“Oh, I could have,” He acknowledged, moving you into a secluded alcove all the while. “But then I wouldn’t have gotten to see the pretty little lip sticking out just for my kisses and bites.”

He chose that moment to resume kissing your apparently pretty lip while pressing your back into the hard stone. His evident erection pressed into your belly while his hands pulled you too close for breath. This was dangerous for them to be making out where someone could walk up at any moment, but it didn’t change the way your pulse exploded at the danger. You should be angry he was taking a risk like this. 

As if he read your thoughts, which in retrospect was entirely possible, Tom pulled away and grabbed your hand, leading you away. He cast a few spells over you to keep you from being seen if anyone should be out of bed. They would just see a professor doing his rounds for the night. Not the student he was sneaking to god knows where.

Your questions about where you were going were soon answered as the two of you reached the seventh floor. Since the DA used to meet there regularly, the Room of Requirement was Hogwarts’ worst best kept secret. No one braved using it much now it was common knowledge among Hogwarts Faculty, but it was perfect if you were sneaking away with a Professor. 

Two beautiful doors appeared before you, each intertwined in some amazing mahogany wood unlike anything you’d ever seen. Tom opened one of them and gestured for you to go in ahead of him, his smile both inviting and promising. You felt much like you were entering the playroom of a Mr. Grey, unsure of what peculiar preferences he may have.

The room was a surprise to say the least, but it was warm and romantic all the same. The whole room turned itself into the fanciest restaurant you’d ever seen, lit by candlelight that dusted everything in pink and yellow and red. The floor was the same mahogany wood, the walls and ceiling filled with murals of men and gods reaching for each other as if everything depended on their love. And in the center of the room was a small, circular table fully set with white china, a bottle of wine, and crystal wine glasses. 

You were in complete awe. Tom didn’t plan a quick fuck in some corner. No, he wanted to go on a date. Holy shit….

“Is everything to your liking?” That perfect voice drifted through your thoughts with its ridiculous question. 

A small smile hit your lips as you thought of the perfect answer that would show things were still not perfect just because he used the Room of Requirement to be fancy. 

You turned to face him, taking in his shy smile and almost regretted your answer. “It depends on what you were expecting for the night. It will do, though I suppose it will change whenever you feel the inclination,” you answered despondently. 

There was a clear amount of frustration evident in his body language when he heard your avoidance of an answer. But it was clear he was trying to put on a good face despite all your difficultness. 

“Well,” he moved towards you, “I’m not sure if it will, but for the time being, I would love to have dinner with a beautiful witch. Can I take your jacket?” He offered, his hand stretched out.

Whether you trusted him or not, the compliment warmed your heart a bit. You handed him your outer jacket you brought to battle to cold of the dungeons a little trepidation. It was different than anything he’d seen you in before.

You heard a sharp intake of air as Tom took in the sight of you in your best black dress. It hugged your curves in all the right places and had a completely open back. You matched it with a pair of sneakers you’d transfigured into pumps that made your legs absolutely marvelous. He probably wasn’t expecting for you to dress up, but it was so worth his reaction.

“I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep my hands off you for long, but you look breathing taking, darling”, Tom breathed, mesmerized by the sight in front of him. 

He snapped out of his awe slowly before taking off his own outer robes and placing them on a hook near the door. He wasn’t playing fair either, fully decked out in a muggle tux and looking delectable as those slacks hugged the curve of his ass, the jacket giving his shoulders a wide accent, and that crisp white shirt drawing all attention to those perfectly skilled hands of his. Now that was just cruel. 

When he turned back to face you and saw your expression, a self satisfied smirk met his lips. “Looks like I’m not the only one who may be struggling tonight,” he added with a little chuckle. 

You shook yourself just a little to snap out of it and put your shoulders back with confidence. No showing weakness. He didn’t deserve that vulnerability. You gestured to the table while saying, “Would you care to sit?”

The two of you made your way to the beautifully set table, Tom heading in front of you just to pull the chair out for you and push it back in when you sat. He promptly sat next to you eagerly, unbuttoning his jacket and revealing his waistcoat that teased you out of the corner of your eye with those sleek buttons just begging to be undone. 

“Would you like some wine?” He asked, holding the bottle for your perusal. You nodded swiftly, eager to have something to calm the nerves screaming throughout your body. Almost as soon as he finished pouring your glass, you gulped down every drop, gesturing for him to refill it again. He arched an eyebrow at you before filling the glass again. 

You sipped at this one, determined to avoid a bad hangover or ever worse, drunken admissions you’d never be able to take back. He seemed relieved that you didn’t want to drink wine like it was a shot of vodka. 

Once you were both poured a full glass, he placed the bottle down and gave you his full attention before beginning to say whatever he had planned. 

“I wanted to tell you that I’m so thankful you decided to come here with me tonight. I appreciate this chance to right whatever wrong I’ve done to you. But also, I spent much time considering our situation and realized that while we may have developed a formal relationship early on, we don’t quite know each other,” He deduced. “And I’ve realize that my training as an auror hasn’t quite made reading me the easiest endeavor. I wanted to give you the chance tonight and hopefully many nights after this to get to know me and I you. Otherwise, you may come to believe I’m just searching for a convenient fuck, which is most certainly not how I wish to come across.”

You took another sip of your wine, thinking through everything. His astute observation made you feel obvious, but there was no avoiding that. Your best bet was to take him up on his offer. The only way you’d get peace was to put to rest the part of you that believed Tom was everything you had to make up due to lack of facts. 

You met his gaze with a small jut of your chin. “That sounds agreeable, Tom. I must warn you though, I will not ask easy questions or expect half answers. I’m putting my future on the line for this and I’d like to be able to know I could trust you.” You tried to put an emphasis on trust, hoping he’d get the picture.

Relief was clear on his every feature. Apparently he was working on actually showing more reactions than normal. “Thank you, darling. And I’m ready to answer every question as truthfully as I can. So feel free to start.”

A dish of warm french bread appeared on the table as a signal of a first course. You grabbed a piece and began nibbling, surprised by the way it calmed your churning stomach. 

“How many other students are you sleeping with?” You asked boldly, not mincing words or time with beating around the bush.

He seemed a bit bewildered by that one. “None. Absolutely zero. As of the past two years, the only person I’ve had sexual relations with is you”, he reassured.

There was no lie on features, only honesty. A part of you wished you could have veritaserum just to make sure, but that was about as good as you were going to get without proof. So you just nodded your understanding. 

“What attracted you to me?”

“Everything,” Tom said with a small shrug. “I can’t quite explain how I was drawn to you. Both your desire to learn everything, the power you exuded, the lack of acknowledgement you deserve, the same haunted look in your eyes… I knew the moment that I first saw you that I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you, if that makes sense,” he tried to explain, but was clearly frustrated with his inability. “All I can say is I never experienced this kind of draw towards anyone, including my former wife.”

You looked down at your plate, playing with a few bread crumbs while you gathered your thoughts. At least the draw wasn’t one sided, though it felt more like he stole the very thoughts from your own mind. The wine warmed your body and you could your brain start to get just a little fuzzy. It was a good feeling, like floating on water.

You met his eyes, ready to bring the full punch of your next question.

“Will you throw me away or break up with me when I leave Hogwarts?”

A moment of silence met your ears as he seemed genuinely bothered by your question. “Darling,” he began as he grabbed your hand, covering it with his warm palm, “it is not my desire for things to end in the foreseeable future. I have no plan to throw you away simply because you are no longer my student. However, if you were to choose that you didn’t want to bring this relationship with you into your post-education world, I will honor that choice. In the end, I don’t believe it would be me to ever make the decision to leave, whether it be at the end of the school year or years in the future.”

Breathing became incredible difficult all the sudden. New tears decided now would be a good time to well up in your eyes, but you decidedly kept them from falling. Tom clearly saw them, his face becoming softer as he realized some of the concerns you were probably having. He stood up and walked to your side where he pulled you into his arms. It took all of your control to blink back the tears and swallow the sobs as he comforted you. 

“Listen darling. I’ve lost everything in my life. I’ve screwed so much up, hell, I’m screwed up. But as long as you want me around, I’ll be around. I’m not good at commitment or big statements but if you give me the time, I’ll get there. Just trust that I want nothing more than to have you with me for as long as you’ll have me”, he admitted, his own voice a little gruff with the emotion of it. 

You weren’t interested in anything else he wanted to say. He’d said more than enough. You found his lips with a hunger and desire that consumed the both of you like a fiendfyre. It burned everything in its wake, including the worries and the questioning that had been torturing you. 

A small ding registered throughout the room, causing you to separate from Tom hastily. The ding obviously was a signal that the next course was on the table. Two ceaser salads sat on your plates where the bread had once been. You looked back at him with a small giggle before he smiled warmly at you and returned to his seat. 

You were half way through your salad when Tom asked his first question. 

“So, what’s your ideal date? For future reference”

The only answer that came to mind was that answer from Miss Congeniality and suddenly, you were in a fit of laughter that had your sides hurting. 

  
  
  


The dinner was absolutely lovely as you continued to question and be questioned throughout your five course meal. Lobster was the main course, much to your excitement. It was absolutely delicious, tantalizing to your senses. You made a side comment about surprise over not eating oysters that Tom thankfully caught on to. 

“Oh no, we both know I have absolutely no need for the extra help oysters may offer,” He teased with a little wink. 

You talked about everything from some of his favorite memories as a dad to your most embarrassing school moments. It was everything a first date should be and more. And when everything was finished, it felt like days had passed, when in reality, only a few hours had. The candlelight on his skin called to you and whether it was wine or the moment, in the middle of dessert, you found yourself in his lap. 

Tom didn’t seem to mind in the least as you fed him bite after bite of the chocolate cheesecake, his gaze becoming hotter each bite. He swiped a finger in the whip cream that decorate the top and painted it on your shoulder, only to lick it off slowly. A small moan left your lips as his hot mouth touched your sensitive skin. 

Not waiting another second, he gathered you in his arms and stood, carrying you bridal style to a huge bed that appeared along one wall, complete with black satin sheet and a side table containing a blindfold and a few cans of whip cream. Oh, this was going to be interesting.

Tom grinned at you like a cat as he laid you down in the middle of the bed before shucking off his jacket and waistcoat. The way his fingers expertly undid each button with perfect precision sent a whole new wave of arousal through your body. He even took notice of your attention and began rolling up his sleeves slowly, giving you wonderful glimpses of those strong forearms. 

“Love”, he began, his voice adding to the moment with its velvety richness. “Have I gained your trust for the night? Because I have some things in mind that will require your implicit trust of me.”

You looked him straight in the eye. “Do what you want to me, Tom.”

Moments later, you found yourself spread out along the bed by chains that were attached to each bedpost, blindfolded, and completely naked. Every sound, every movement of air brushed your skin and psyche like a feather floating through the air, turning every nerve on high alert.

Tom started by kissing you sensually, allowing you to adjust to feeling, before stepping away, giving way to a contrast as you waited expectantly. A cold sensation hit you collarbone and continued a path down your sternum, under your breasts, past your navel and ending at your hips. After a few seconds of sensationless, you nearly jumped when you felt something warm and moist following the trail, sucking every bit of cream from your skin and leaving little marks in its place. 

He grazed his teeth on the underside of your breasts, causing you to moan softly and arch your back into his mouth. He continued until the cream was gone before adding more cream on the insides of your thighs and one single line along your nether lips. You positively tingled with anticipation as he mouth began its way along the sensitive skin towards where you were dripping with desire for him. 

His tongue started by just darting in the cream, adding little pressure to where you wanted it and you found yourself making all sorts of whimpering noises. He had mercy on you in that moment as he began a well needed assault on your clit. Your noises got louder and louder as you found yourself getting closer to orgasm. He was taking his time in a way he never had the chance to before and it was utterly perfect.

A single finger entered you forcefully, causing you to gasp in surprise, and began to move in tandem with the tongue adding pressure to your clit. Pleas and begging was all your mouth seemed to know as he gave you exactly what you needed and you fell over the edge in a whole new force of an orgasm. 

He massaged you down from your high with the same precision he used to undo his beautiful button before taking your blindfold off and kissing you passionately. Even the small light of the room took adjusting to, but you were distracted by the mix of you and the cream that seemed to be the perfect flavor combination. Next time you guys do this, you should just offer yourself up as the dessert, you thought to yourself through the assault his tongue was doing to your mouth.

Tom kneeled between your spread legs and stopped the kiss to give you a show as he took the rest of his clothes. His perfect curls were strewn in a very sexy ‘just fucked’ look and his eyes burned with a fury that threatened to leave you unable to walk for days. He worked his shirt off with a little more speed than before, just as eager as you were. His hard cock strained against the confines of his slacks. It wasn’t fair that you were tied up. You wanted to touch him. 

He shrugged the shirt off finally, finally giving you the view of him actually half naked. Your previous fucks had all been half clothed, with not enough time to really appreciate each other’s bodies. And from the look on his face, your body was doing a number on him. But fuck, those well defined muscles and abs were sending you whining all over again. 

He worked his belt off and his pants next, not bothering to draw it out any longer as his underwear came off with those slacks. His cock jutted out proudly, red and purple with need. And it was all for you. He needed you, almost the same way you needed him. He did the spell wandlessly and entered you fully.

God, he was fucking you, but so slowly it left your breathless. You wanted to draw this out almost as much as he did, but you were becoming aware of the noises you were making that were completely feeding his ego. He drew out slow enough to let you feel every inch of him leaving you, only to surge in forcefully, hitting those wonderful spots inside of you. All the while, he played with your clit, allowing you to come to climax quickly, even with his slow pace. 

The smile on his face told you he was fully enjoying the freedom to do whatever he wanted to you. “That’s right, darling. I want you to cum around me over and over again until you can’t remember anything but my name, until every coherent thought leaves your mind. Unravel for me, love,” he demanded breathlessly, encouraging you to make all the noise you wanted. 

He began to go a little fast, still rubbing at your clit, but focusing more on hitting your G spot with every stroke. Your body was fully prepared to lose it all again, meeting every demand his body put forward with desperation.He played your body like it was a finely tuned instrument and he knew every nuance, every trick to making it run perfectly. And it only took a few minutes and you were cumming around his beautiful cock again. You could tell he wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer as you clenched around him with a small scream.

“One more time, love. Cum with me one last time”, he whispered as he began fucking you with no mercy, hitting every spot hard and demandingly. He gave every ounce of energy he had left to take you with him over the edge and set this night in your mind forever. He didn’t need to rub your clit as he penetrated you with a fury and passion that truly might make walking difficult in the near future. And your body came with the loudest scream you’ve ever let out of your mouth and all tension, all worry, all concern, all second guessing, everything just left you in that moment. You barely noticed as Tom let out his own growl and yell as he came right alongside you for the perfect shared orgasm that would leave you breathless whenever the memory came up for the rest of forever.


	13. Christmas Is Too Boring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is going to reveal another interesting detail I'm throwing in about the reader and I'm just hoping I don't murder it. Note that I know little to nothing about being Jewish or Hanukkah. Nor is it my intention to offend anyone with those particular beliefs and traditions. I just wanted to write about a character who came from that background and was a witch. 
> 
> Due to the fact I know so little, I decided to keep the information to a minimum on the festivities and belief systems. 
> 
> On that note, we are diving a bit deeper into Tom and what he's struggling with. Why he hesitates, why he can't say those three special words... I hope you guys enjoy the new dynamic
> 
> As always, feedback is loved and appreciated!

“Hey, what’s your plans for Christmas this year?” Delven asked after another morning prep meeting with Professor Hiddleston. 

You were a little taken back, brought from your thoughts by the sudden question. Well, they weren’t technically your thoughts. 

Tom had developed a new technique with his Legilimency skills that allowed him to enter your mind whenever he had a moment of silence to concentrate and plant all sorts of naughty thoughts. The fantasy that had just been running through your poor mind was a rather rough fucking in the astronomy tower with you hanging over the edge, only held back from falling by your wrists and his cock slamming inside of you. 

You blushed furiously as you tried to put your scattered thoughts and aroused body into some semblance of an answer. “I’ll be going home like everyone else, but they are letting me out a week earlier so I can be home for the beginning of our Hanukkah celebrations,” you explained quickly. It wasn’t until you caught the confused look on Delven’s face that you realized it was unlikely he’d ever really heard of Hanukkah before.

“I’m Jewish. My family and I celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas. I may be a witch, but it doesn’t mean I give up on the beliefs I’ve known my whole life.” It was quite the announcement and you even felt Tom’s gaze on you.

You are a muggleborn. No one would have guessed that such a strong Slytherin leader would have ever been born from a non magic family, but you were. You could still remember the day that you started showing your magical powers. The things your family whispered about you being a daughter of  Lilith and the subsequent shunning you received for many years had been terrifying for you as a child. 

But then came the day that Dumbledore himself came to your home and explained the truth of witchcraft that had been so shunned and hated by more than just the Jewish. He gave you the freedom you needed to discover that your magic wasn’t something to be hated, but to be learned and controlled. And after many fights and difficult arguments, your parents found a way to cope with the reality that their daughter was a witch. 

Truth be told, a part of you wanted to never practice the customs and traditions again after discovering the truth, but it was still a part of you, just like your magic was. Thus Hogwarts allowed room for you to practice your beliefs and get to be home with your family during holy celebrations. 

“Does that mean you are leaving this week?” Delven asked, doing a wonderful job not getting caught up in the details like so many. 

You gave him a soft, appreciative smile. “Yeah, I’ll be headed home on Friday, so you better have my presents ready before I go,” you teased playfully. 

The conversation dwindled as the two of you gathered your things and were about to head out to breakfast. You stayed back a little longer, just to get a moment with Tom. You hadn’t discussed what your plans were for the Christmas break and it wasn’t like you’d told him that before. Sure, you’d vaguely talked about your family, but you’ve never really said the truth that bluntly before. 

The sound of the door shutting behind delven sent the rest of the room to complete silence. You kept your head down at your notes, worried to meet his gaze. Then you heard a shifting and the sure sounds of his footsteps before two long arms enveloped you from behind. 

You sighed against him, letting your body relax in his embrace. Since that night in the Room of Requirement, there was a lot of busy moments, but whenever the two of you were alone, there was a new found sense of peace and affection. Of course there was always sexual tension, but it was happier now. 

Tom took a deep breath, breathing in your scent fully. His lips kissed the top of your head gently before exhaling and pulling your body even closer. 

“Darling, you never cease to surprise me. One minute I think I know who you are, and the next you send me on a curveball,” he whispered softly against your hair. 

A pang of worry and disappointment exploded in your chest. Was he angry? Did he want to end things now he knew the truth? “Is it that shocking that I’m Jewish?” You joked, trying to push off the anxiety that wanted to explode. 

He chuckled a little. “Not really. You’d be surprised how many students come from very different religious backgrounds. It’s what you didn’t fully say that spoke the loudest,” he answered while turning you around in his arms to face him. It gave you a second to take in how beautiful he was. Those clear blue eyes striking through your defenses, seeing the worry you’d tried to hide, that soft smile tugging at his lips that sent your heart soaring. How did you get so lucky?

“Darling, you have nothing to be ashamed of,” he assured, grasping your chin in his thumb and forefinger to keep you from looking at the floor. “Yes, it is surprising you are a muggle born. But it is all the more testament to the incredible woman you are. You defied everyone’s expectations and never flaunted the true difficulty that comes from entering a world completely opposite of what you’ve always known. It makes you all the more beautiful to me.”

You took a shaky breath while trying to clear your eyes from the blurriness that threatened to send tears down your face. Responding would have just been superfluous as you stood on your tiptoes and kissed him softly. Tom kissed you back just as gently and for a second it felt like heaven.

Then he broke away from you with a smile. “As much as I would like to eat breakfast right here on this desk from between those delicious thighs of yours, we should be getting to the Great Hall before someone becomes suspicious,” he teased. 

“You know”, you began with a small huff of frustration, “Between the fantasies you seem determine to share with me and the suggestive words coming out of your mouth on a consistent basis, it’s a wonder I don’t explode from sexual frustration”. You gathered your materials in your arms and marched towards the door.

On the way, you felt a hard slap on your butt that sent you gasping while Tom laughed freely. “That’s the point darling. I do so enjoy seeing you squirming with need every day. It makes our encounters so more precious as you moan like a delirious mad woman.” 

You gave him your best glare before huffing once more and heading out the door to what was no doubt going to be another very frustrating meal inside your head. 

Within a few moments, you were sitting next to Lizzie and Tom was at the head table. She was rambling about her Christmas plans, complaining about having to go back to her parents when there was supposed to be some crazy party the upper class was throwing in Hogsmeade over the holiday. You smiled and nodded at the correct intervals, trying to be the best friend you were supposed to be when you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

Seriously? Right now?

With the adequate warning, you didn’t feel so much of a painful slam when your mind was invaded by Tom’s once more. And suddenly, your mind’s eye became overwhelmed with an image as clear as if you’d just jumped into a pensieve. He really was getting good at this. 

You were in a house you’d never seen before, but it was warm and well decorated. Bookshelves lined most walls and you could practically smell something delicious cooking. You walked towards the smell and found a fully stocked kitchen complete with a candlelit dinner and Tom. Christmas decorations were everywhere and he stood immediately, taking you into his arms and kissing you softly, the taste of champagne on his tongue. 

“Thank you for coming over tonight, love. You have no idea how much it means to me that you would spend Christmas Eve in my home,” His warm voice drifted through the moment like a memory. 

So this is where he was imagining you. Perhaps it was an invitation to come over during the winter holiday. You glanced up at Tom with a small question in your eyes. But he was too focused, staring down at his food with intense concentration, to see your gaze.

Suddenly, you were in a bedroom, dressed in a wispy red and white baby doll lingerie set that complemented your skin perfectly. And you were bent over Tom’s knee as he spanked you and you counted each blow with a ‘thank you, sir’. The position felt a bit humiliating to your pride, but you couldn’t deny the pleasure you felt at the idea. 

Your face was becoming a little flushed and your heart was racing. It was becoming impossible to hear much of what Lizzie was saying to you, but you sincerely tried to look like you were still paying attention. Just as your composure felt like it was managing, the sharp slap was replaced by fingers fucking your pussy ferociously. 

The poor bench beneath you was no doubt sucking up the juices practically dripping from your soaked underwear. The image in your head kept progressing quickly, like a memory where everything happens much quicker than in real life. Suddenly, you were on your hands and knees getting fucked hard by Tom’s cock and the groans he was making were practically ringing in your ears.

Your breaths were starting to come out in soft pants and your body felt completely overheated. And still he didn’t relent, knowing what he was doing to you and how hard it was for you to keep your control in front of everyone. As he fucked you, he pressed a lubricated finger into your back passage and stimulated you in the place no one had before. But if the way your whole body tensed at the idea was any sign, it would be an interesting experience nonetheless. 

Then, just like that, your vision went blank and you heard a soft whisper in your ear in the unmistakable voice of your lover with the address you needed. You didn’t know whether to be happy or furious that he just ended it like that, but it was probably for the best that you didn’t cum in front of everyone. 

  
  
  


Your family was as welcoming as ever, with the same avoidance they offered whenever the topic of school came up. They never asked you about Hogwarts or what you were learning. You were expected to figure it out on your own because it went against everything they knew and they weren’t that willing to challenge that. 

It was a wonderful holiday, filled with everything that made you nostalgic for the childhood you’d once had but had abandoned. You spun the dreidel with the children and sang the hymns with everyone else as the Menorah was lit every night. It was wonderful and peaceful, but you couldn’t help but think about Tom. If you were to have a family of your own, would you continue on the traditions of your past or put aside traditions for whatever is easiest?

Of course it was important to you, but it was too religious to you sometimes, especially since you now got to see a completely different side to history and humanity than was available to you before. Were you supposed to continue these songs about an ancient god or would you become loosely atheistic like much of the wizarding world? 

You’d probably have to spend a few years thinking about it before you came up with an answer. But all you knew is that you wanted to spend an important night to Tom in his arms. 

So on December 24th, you told your parents you were going to go into town to spend some time with your school friends and you’d probably be out late. All you had to say was school and they immediately brushed it off, letting you know you could probably be gone all night and they wouldn’t mention it. Perfect.

You walked outside, inhaling sharply at the chill that stabbed your sensitive skin through your layers. It was lightly snowing, dusting everything in sight with the beauty only winter holds. There wasn’t a single noise in the small neighborhood you’d grown up in. Everything was still and peaceful. 

It was the kind of night that had you completely at peace. Some people hated the cold, but this moment, this stillness and silence, only ever happens when the snow falls. 

You enjoyed it for a few minutes before apparating to the place Tom had planted in your mind. The fishhook through your navel sent you spinning and falling until you found yourself on the outskirts of a small village. A simple two story house stood in front of you, decorated by the frozen ivy covering its walls, but there didn’t seem to be any lights on. You tentatively looked around to make sure you were in the right place, but it definitely was the home that Tom showed you, just less full of warmth and light. 

As you walked to the door, you began to hear noises inside. Something like glass breaking and an angry sob. You opened the door softly, calling out Tom’s name to see if everything was alright. When you didn’t get a response, you ventured further in. 

Perhaps you should have sent your owl ahead of you. The house was completely dark and cold, a black hearth where there had been a roaring fire in her imagination. There was no wonderful smell of cooking, just something bitter and thick like spoiled alcohol. There weren’t even candles to light the way, forcing your eyes to adjust to the darkness.

Another sound of glass shattering came from upstairs and you jumped at the sudden noise. Whatever was going on, you were seriously concerned. If this is Tom’s home, then what was going on? Where was he? You followed the sound up the steps and through an open door in the hallway. 

The door creaked open as you nudged it and you winced. You called out Tom’s name again, hoping he would respond. You took a step forward to find a picture on the ground cracking beneath your foot. Pulling out your wand, you cast lumos and saw the smiling faces of a woman and a child laughing and playing despite their predicament on the floor. 

You took another step forward and was met with the sight of what should have been the room and bed you were fucked into, but were strewn into an impossible mess. And a crouched figure sat at the foot of the bed sobbing, surrounded by more torn pictures filled with the faces of a family that never got to live. 

“Tom?” You whispered softly, kneeling by his side. It was only in that moment you saw the blood on his hands that he didn’t even seem to care were dripping red all over the carpet. He didn’t say a word as you took in his mess, multiple empty bottles strewn here and there indicating he was seriously intoxicated. All that came from him were sobs. 

You pried his hands away from his face and began to clean him up, doing your best to seem unfazed by the sight in front of you. He always seemed so strong, so impenetrable. And now you got to see the truth of the pain he was dealing with. He lost his family. There was no replacing that. 

“Shhhh…,” you soothed, drawing him into your arms once you closed the wounds on his hands. He needed to know you’d be there for him, not that you’d ever believe he intended for you to seem him like this. You would never be a child and being a woman means knowing when to pick up the man you love. 

Tom sobbed into your shoulder, soaking the fabric of your jacket, his own skin freezing from sitting in the cold for too long. Closing your eyes and summoning the magic you had available, you imagined fire coming from your core and exploding around you. You opened your eyes to a fire burning in the fireplace and all the candles lit. 

“Come here, Tom,” you whispered, leading him next to the fire so he’d warm up. He moved in jerks and collapsed on his side when he got close enough, unable to move much more. This new position allowed you to see his face. The tears that streaked his beautiful face absolutely broke your heart. 

You laid down next to him and brushed his tears away with the tip of your fingers. His eyes focused on some distant thing, mumbling all the time in monologues filled with apologies and sorrow from what you could make out, most of his speech slurred by the alcohol he’d drank. You accio’d some pepperup potion from somewhere in the house, more of a hope than anything and rolled him on his back. 

“Here, darling. Drink this and you’ll feel better,” you tried to coerce. There was reluctance on his every feature, but he drank the potion anyways. Clarity came to those sharp blue eyes, but the tears didn’t stop, now streaking through his ginger curls. The steam coming from his ears would be comical normally, but with the state he was in, all you saw was his pain.You sat close enough to him and lifted his head into your lap, allowing him both comfort and time to deal. 

You completely lost track of time as you crushed your fingers through his hair, wiped away tears, and soothed the lines in his face as he sobered. He never met your gaze, looking off into some forlorn distance as if he was reliving some horror over and over again. You decided to ask him to do something.

“Tom,” you whispered, getting his attention just enough so he’d look at you. You cupped his face gently and stared into his eyes. “Show me, love. Show me what’s hurting you, please.”

Tom looked up, his face still so numb and frozen, but reached his own hand up to your face and rested it on your temple. The hairs on the back of your neck stood on end and you were suddenly plummeting into his mind. 

It was night and Tom had two other aurors by his side. They were sneaking up on what appeared to be a death eater raid on some poor, unsuspecting household. Death eaters were getting braver every day and there was still a small faction of aurors willing to fight for what was right. Glimpses swept in front of your eyes of Tom leading a group of wizards and witches to keep fighting and rebel against the corrupt ministry. And here they were, about to interrupt another attack. 

They were really well hidden by the amount of spells they cast to keep them concealed and they spied in through the windows to see Lucius Malfoy and Fenrir Greyback standing together over the whimpering body of a woman who appeared to be absolutely brutalized. There was a cry from somewhere else in the house that sounded remarkably like a child. 

“Shut the kid up!” Lucius called out, clearly put out. 

The woman screamed out a feeble no, begging them to leave her son alone. Then she lifted her face up, giving Tom a perfect picture of his beautiful wife after being beaten and who knows what else. 

What happened next was a bit of a blur, but when everything came back into focus, Lucius Malfoy had his wife at wand point and the body of their son was lying in a bloody heap next to Fenrir. 

“This is what you get, Tom. You could have sided with us, or just kept your head down, but you decided to fight us. Well, let’s see you fight without a family,” Lucius said with his best sneer. And before Tom could stop it, a burst of green light came from Lucius’ wand and entered the body of the woman he loved. 

Tom fell to his knees, cradling her lifeless body while a battle raged around him, completely unaware of it. The last thing he remembered hearing from Lucius Malfoy before he disappeared finally made it clear to you.

“Happy Christmas, Tom”.

  
  


You woke up from the memories with a small gasp, finding your own face wet with tears as you finally grasped why. Tom’s family was murdered on Christmas Eve in front of his eyes. Five years ago, Tom lost everything. No doubt he had spent every Christmas Eve since then in anguish without anyone to help him through it.

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” Tom was whimpering those words over and over again. Your heart broke every time he repeated them, wishing you could show him in some way that it wasn’t his fault.

You moved Tom’s hands which had once again covered his face and tried to soothe him. “No, Tom, it isn’t your fault. What happened wasn’t something you could’ve stopped even if you went back and tried to change everything. You can’t blame yourself,” you tried to reassure. 

“You’re wrong.” He answered definitively. “It was my choice that led to that. If I’d been a little less reckless, if I wasn’t so full of pride and idiocy, I’d have seen what my actions were going to hurt. I KILLED MY FAMILY!” He cried out in an agonized defiance. He moved to sit up, still shaky and exhausted, but got to his feet nonetheless. 

You looked up at him, shaking your head at the lies he chose to believe. “Tom, you couldn’t have known…” 

“But I should have!” He interrupted, a hanging piece on the wall flying into the other in his rage and anguish. “It was my job to take care of them, to be their protector and they were killed on my watch while I was off on some glory mission. And now, just a few years later, I’m continuing like nothing ever happened with a girl I shouldn’t even touch because everything I love is destroyed!” 

You tried to ignore the way your heart soared at the mention of love and you in the same sentence, though the way he said girl was a little off putting. “Tom, your wife would have wanted you to be happy. She would have wanted you to find someone and to not let this guilt destroy you”, you argued, talking as soothingly as you could.

“If I was a truly good man and a good husband, there would never be anyone else! I made vows when I swore to protect her and love her forever and I’m so fucked up now that I’ve fallen in love with a girl almost half my age just to purge the memory of the person I married,” he fought back vehemently. He paced back and forth in the room, filled with such vile self loathing that you were stunned.

You stood slowly and walked up to him, standing close enough to look him in the eye. “Tom, do you truly love me?” You asked, giving him a positive emotion to focus on. 

He took a deep breath and blinked away more tears before nodding vigorously. “Yeah, darling, I do. I’m sorry, I should have told you earlier, I just…” He trailed off, searching for something better to look at than your penetrating gaze.

“Then your wife would be happy for you. You are not betraying her memory because you shared a life full of love and happiness and the only way to honor that is to continue loving and being happy. So many people died during the war, Tom. And none of them are your fault unless you are the one that cast Avada Kedavra”. 

Tom pulled you close as you finished, clinging to you like a drowning man all the while sobbing. Except these cries were different, they were more cries of release than of anguish. So you continued to hold him and soothe him. There was no way this battle would be completely over for a while but there was progress tonight. 

As the sobs subsided, he pulled away, beginning to pull himself together. His hands run over his face, trying to wipe the exhaustion and emotion away in return for his easy going manner. He gave you a tight lip smile you immediately saw through before he finally said something.

“Sorry about this, darling… I hadn’t meant for you to see me like this,” he apologized and gestured to everything around him.

“Don’t be.” You answered unwaveringly. “Thank you for letting me be there for you.”

He shrugged, not quite sure why you were thanking him. Just as the silence was getting uncomfortable, he took a large sniff of the air around him.

“Is that the empty bottles or is that me that smells so atrocious?” He asked, a bit bewildered. 

You stepped closer, taking a whiff of his shirt and instantly grimacing. “I think that’s you.”

“I think I’m going to take a quick shower.” He said, heading towards a door to the side of the room. He hesitated before stepping inside, looking back at you like he wanted to say something. “Would you like to join me, by chance?”

You answered by starting to work at the buttons of your coat. “Absolutely.”

 

Moments later, you found yourself stepping into the hot, steamy water completely naked and soon joined by the man who just admitted he loved you. Tom looked deep into your eyes as if he was trying to make out what it was you wanted. He looked weary and exhausted as the hot water beat into his skin, trying to soothe the muscles that were so stressed. 

You reached up and pressed your lips against his unhurriedly and found them giving way under yours completely, molding to fit your advances perfectly. He rested his hands on your waist, unhurriedly drawing circles in the droplets of water sitting there. 

It didn’t take long for you to feel him begin to harden against your stomach. Pangs of desire hit you at the feel of his velvet skin rubbing against you, but it was more than that. You weren’t looking for a quick fuck or a lust driven session of fucking each others’ brains out. This time would be different.

You pulled away just enough to look him in the eyes, taking in the beauty there with the water decorating every inch of his perfect skin in mesmerizing mirrors. “Make love to me, Tom,” you whispered, praying you weren’t asking too much of a broken man. 

In answer, Tom began to kiss you again, taking his time to thoroughly explore your mouth and set your nerve endings on edge. His hands moved from your waist to your thighs as he hooked them around his waist just as unhurriedly as his kisses. His fingers found your clit while he used the shower wall to brace you, and began to slowly tease you with the pads of his fingers, showing both his desire and his love with the softness of his gentle touch. 

Tom looked like he was about to pull away for a second, seeing that there was no protection and he hadn’t brought his wand, but you pulled him back to you. “Not this time love. I’ll take a contraceptive potion in the morning if need be. Right now, I just want it to be you and me”, you whispered softly bringing him back to you. 

“God, I love you,” he answered breathlessly as he positioned himself by your entrance before slowly sinking into your heat. 

You gasped at the slow slide, sure you could feel every inch of him as the water increased the friction and sensation of his movements. He never hurried or rushed, just languidly used his beautiful cock to touch deeper places than any man had ever touched before. You clung to him with everything you had, kissing him with as much love as you could muster. He would leave this shower knowing he is loved, no matter what.

Tom’s hands supported you perfectly, cradling you as he withdrew, only to add a little force to his thrusts. It was perfect. It was a symphony of every emotion and every piece of love expressed in the way god intended it to be. And it was like time stopped and the universe disappeared as the only thing that was left was you and Tom, making love to one another. 

His thrusts started to become ragged and you knew he was close. And if you could actually pay attention to something other than his face, you’d realize you were pretty close yourself. You combed your fingers through his wet hair and pulled him close, letting your own cries escape as you fell over the edge while Tom pumped his seed deep into your womb.

There was no going back. The reality of what they had just done and committed to was overwhelming, but also everything it should ever be. This wasn’t some childish crush turned perverted fantasy. This is a man loving a woman and vise versa, no matter of age, religion, Hogwarts house, any of it. 

This was true love. 

You were in a complete daze as the two of you stepped out of the shower, dried off, and went to bed. Hopefully Tom wouldn’t take the state of mind you were in wrong, but this was something to be taken seriously and be awed over. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he pulled you close, cuddling against your back and the two of you drifted into peaceful sleep.


End file.
